Under the Stars
by Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory
Summary: CH. 13 UP! The male cast is living in the same apartment. New people come to live at the apartment, including some more crayon mural drawings and voodoo fun
1. On the Balcony

Hello y'all. This here is my first (and hopefully last) romance fic type thinger ma thing. This has been more or less written out of a dare, mostly because the person (my sis -_-) knows that i don't do anything but humour, and says that if I don't, she and all of her friends will know me as the dreaded 'cocka poopoo'... as childish as this sounds, I still don't want them coming over everyday and saying 'Hi ya cocka poopoo! You taken a good dump lately?' Truthfully, it doesn't seem very fun, even though if I were watching them do it to someone else, I'd probably laugh my ass off, and I'm sure you would too, so don't go on saying 'you're mean! i hate you!' and stuff like that. And if you do, do it because you thought my story sucked... I just realized now that in every review I get, I will have many the flame. Yeah, now to make sure I won't get sued by some person who believes in divine retribution, I don't own jack shit. THERE!!! TRY TO GET ME NOW TO DICK HEADS!!! No, I'm not referring to you... unless you're own of those people who try to kill the author who doesn't have a damn disclaimer on their fic. No shit they don't own it! If they did, do you really think they'd bother writing a fic?! They could just make it part of the series, thus brain washing many little kiddies into believing in their story plot, and expanding on the branch of merchandise they make a killing off of every day... I'm sorry. It seems I have gone off on a rant now. I'll just shut up ad go on to the fic now...

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The Title of the Story Which I Haven't Thought Up a Title for But Will Have by The Time You Read This But am Too Lazy to Write Down

By: Mr. Miagis Banana Factory

Yami Yugi, Yami Bakura, and Yami Malik were all sitting at a bar, having a few beers, and bitching about their hikaris back home who did nothing but cook, clean, do laundry, work, pay the bills, and knit. 

"I swear! They are so useless!" Bakura snarled as he chugged down another pint.

"Wow, that's amazing how you can talk and drink at the exact same time," Yami applauded, admiring Bakura's ability to do two things at once that is normally humanly impossible.

"Yes, well, I do try," Bakura blushed. It was a side of him you would only see when he was drunk. Of course, he was always moody, cranky, and abusive, but when he was drunk, on top of it all, he could get just down right... weird. "Now then, who's up for slapping my ass and calling me Debbie?!" He screamed while running around in a small circle. The bar tender looked over at him, shook his head and sighed. This one was a strange one. Sure, he had seen stranger, but still, this one was strange none the less.

"Um, Bakura," Malik said, "I really do think you should put back on your pants. You should also go home and sleep this off. You're really starting to scare me."

"Oh come on! I'm just living the high life! Now who wants a purple nurple?!"

Yami and Malik ran for seperate ends of the bar. As stated before, when drunk, Bakura was just weird. Finally, after Malik hit him over the head with one of the chairs ion the bar, the two still conscious Yamis carried their friend back home.

As of that time, the Yamis, the Hikaris, Jounouchi, Honda, Mokuba, and Kaiba were all living in the same one bedroom, one bathroom apartment. It had all began a while ago when Anzu had made a bet with Kaiba on a chicken fight, and she won, resulting in him signing over his whole friggin company, which was now going to pot because Anzu doesn't have a clue on what she's doing. He and Mokuba had been taken in by Yugi, who was probably lonely considering all he had was Yami since his grandpa had had a heart attack and died. Not long afterward, Jounouchi and Honda came onto the scene because they thought it would be cool if they could hang out wit their bud Yugi, make the apartment into a frat house, and live happily ever after. Ryou came around needing a place to stay because his dad was getting remarried to Mai, and living in the same house would just be weird, so he joined in. Finally, Malik came by, not wanting to live with his sister because she had just watched some messed up movie that had promoted incest, and she wouldn't stop flirting with him. Yes, they were all living happily in the same dinky apartment.

Well, maybe not in total happiness, especially when the Yamis had popped out of their hikaris' bodies. It had been bad enough with Kaiba always fussing, but now it was getting unbearable. It had all began on that day when Jounouchi accused Kaiba of never helping around the house, which was damn straight. He never did shit. Kaiba, though, since he has such a huge ego, decided to take the challenge of making dinner. He attempted a chocolate pickle omlet with extra sweet apricot jam on top. Well, even though the original recipe was disgusting to start with, that damn ego got in the way again and he thought he was too good for some stupid recipe, and with a little this and a little that, he accidentally had conjered up one of the old top secret solid potions from back in the day in old ancient Egypt. Of course, once Kaiba was done, everybody thought it was a harmless meatloaf with funny looking blue stuff coming out of the sides. Jounouchi didn't eat any, because he felt like taking a stand against Kaiba by saying he was too cool to eat his meatloaf, which was really supposed to be a nasty omelet, but was mutated beyond human comprehension. Honda, thinking Jounouchi was now everybody's new role model, decided he too would stand against the deformed thing. Kaiba didn't eat it because he was busy screaming at Honda and Jounouchi, and Mokuba was busy trying to stop him from killing them. So, only the hikaris ate and POOF! There were suddenly six people at the table.

When walking through the door, the Yamis found their home the way they had left it. Mokuba and Yugi playing 'Shoots and Ladders' on the floor, Kaiba and Jounouchi fighting over who got the nly bed in the house, Honda sleeping on the bed, and Ryou and Hikari Malik (from now on referred to as Ishtar) sitting around knitting dish towels, talking about the weather.

"We're home!" Malik called, tossing Bakura onto the carpet, followed by making his way to the refridgerator. Yami pushed Honda off the bed, got in, and went to sleep, leaving a very disgruntled Honda, and a terribly pissed Jounouchi and Kaiba.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Kaiba yelled, "Tonight was my night for the bed!"

"Nuh uh!" Jounouchi argued, "It's my turn!"

"I'm gonna take a shower!" Yugi informed the apartment dwellers as he mosied on over to the bathroom.

"Wait!" Mokuba squealed, "I have to take a pee!"

As all of this agruing was going on, Ryou and Ishtar started to get slight headaches. Finally, Ishtar had an idea that would solve all of their problems.

"Okay, Kaiba and Jounouchi, it was originally Yami's and Yugi's house, so deal with it. Yugi, go take a shower, and Mokuba, go piss in the sink." There were some groans and grunts, but none the less, the arguments had been silenced. 

Kaiba was still mad, though. He hated being told what to do, and wasn't used to not getting his own way. He walked out onto the balcony, closing the sliding glass door behind him. He looked out over the city and up at the once glorious Kaiba Corp building, which was now Chubby Bunny Inc. 

"I swear, one of these days I'll meet with Anzu again, and I'll kill her," he promised himself, scrunching his hands into tight fists. Someone then came out onto the balcony and was standing behind him.

"You know, staying out on balcony with no one with you can be quite lonely. May I join you?" It was Malik. Kaiba nodded, but said nothing. He didn't know what to say, he had never really had a one on one conversation with the yami before. Malik stood next to him and sighed, hoping to get Kaba's attention, but failed.

"Ahem!"

Kaiba snapped out of his thoughts, and turned his focus onto Malik. "Huh?"

"Hey, you know, there's going to be a festival tomorrow, honoring the day this city was founded. I was thinking that maybe you'd like to go with me."

"Tch. The way you put it, it sounds like you're asking me on a date or something."

Malik was silent, and Kaiba, after a few moments took a hint.

"Oh..." 

"'Oh'? Is that it? Is that all you have to say?" Malik said irritably. He had been hoping for a different response.

"Sorry, I've never been asked out by a guy before."

"It's fine if you want to go, you know. It's just a stupid festival and-"

"What time are we leaving?"

Malik looked up at him a bit startled. He hadn't been expecting him to accept after his 'Oh' statement. He shook off the feeling and answered, "About 10:00 tomorrow morning."

Kaiba smiled, "I'll make sure to be ready by then. In the meantime, I'll be going to bed now." He began to walk back towards the door.

"But... you don't have a bed." Malik said, sounding a bit confused.

"... oh yeah... I guess I'll go, then, and dump jam in Yami's shoes to make myself feel better." He then walked back inside the apartment. Malik remained on the balcony, looking up at the sky.

_'It seems tomorrow will be an interesting day.'_

To be continued... maybe...

Okay, you have now read my horrid fic. I'm sorry about subjecting you all to it, but now I won't be called the horrid name and I actually gave myself something to do with my time (I've had nothing to do today, my friends being out of town and all). If people actually liked it, I'll probably continue it in order to please an audience, but if you thought it totally sucked, I don't mind. it just proves that romance isn't my bag. Anyway, please review to give me an idea if i did a good job or not. 


	2. Winning the teddy bear

It seems I have been sucked into writing another chapter to this fic. I guess, now I think about it, the last one didn't come out as bad as it could have, but still didn't carry that 'OMG That's so mushy!' feel, which, I assume romance fics are supposed to carry (I wouldn't know, I've only read 1, and it was proof reading for a friend). So, on behalf of not knowing what I'm doing, but will try to carry over some of that lovey-er stuff, I will now proceed to the next chapter. Oh, and the disclaimer will carry on to this chapter, as well as any other chapter I might write (too lazy to rewrite 5 simple words every time). 

**Chapter 2**

The next morning, everyone except Bakura seemed to be in a good mood, and were thinking about the festival. Those who had not been able to acquire the bed the night before had fought over the couch, which was won by Ryou, because he spouted out some 'albino's rights' speech, confusing everyone, and claiming it for himself. Then it was a fight for the two pillows that came with the couch, which went to Jounouchi and Mokuba. Kaiba and Malik had missed out, due to the whole balcony scene, and were stuck with merely the floor, as were the contestants who didn't win anything in their nightly battles. 

At the moment in time, there was a line in front of the bathroom with those waiting to take a shower, or just use the other facilities, and others were looking through what possessions to see what they would wear to the upcoming festival.

Malik didn't have a clue on what to put on, because he wanted to make a good impression, but not look desperate at the same time. Kaiba seemed to be a bit more confident, and just wore his white 'tank coat' out fit (I still don't understand why the damn thing doesn't have sleeves). He figured he'd be cool, no matter what he wore, especially since the clothes he had brought with him were all designer brand. His clothes, though, made everyone else mad, not because of the fact that none of them could acquire enough money in their life time to buy one of his socks, but... other reasons.

"Big brother! You did it again!" Mokuba cried in pain, "You're trenchcoat is flaring and has pinned me to the wall! I can't breathe!"

Yami then looked over questioningly. "Yeah, I was wondering, why the hell does that thing defy gravity?"

"I dunno. Why does your cape thingy defy gravity and look ugly at the same time?" replied an angered Seto Kaiba, who felt pure hatred for anyone who would question his clothes' flaring out powers.

This, of course, was the perfect chance for Malik to try to score some points, and he definitely took advantage of the situation. "I think it looks really cool, and you could always use it as a weapon in a time of need, just like how you're using it on Mokuba now!" Sadly, this wasn't exactly the smartest thing to say, and Kaiba became a bit more pissed.

"Well I'm sorry that my tankcoat is friggin harmful!" He said hotly as he took it off and threw it to the ground. "I suppose you want me to wear normal clothes like you peasants! Fine!" He then stormed off, grabbed some of Jounouchi's stuff, and threw them on.

"Hey!" Jounouchi barked, "That's my stuff!"

"Yes, and I'll borrowing it for the day."

"I didn't say you could do that!"

Now, in the corner of the room, Bakura was sitting around, trying to get some shut eye, but it just wasn't happening because of the two angry guys arguing over clothes. Bakura is almost always cranky, but when he has a hangover to boot, he's meaner than usual.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT?!!" Bakura was once again about to go into his infamous screaming speech. "I HATE YOU ALL, AND I WILL COME FOR YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND EAT YOU ALL!!!!"

Suddenly, a scream from another part of the apartment sounded. Everyone looked over to find Yami, who was holding his foot, as if in agony. Yugi immediately rushed over to his yami, hoping that he was alright.

"Yami, what happened?!" Yugi asked in a worried voice, holding on to his arm.

Yami breathed rasply as he spoke, "It's awful. Someone... put... jam in my shoe... STRAWBERRY JAM!!!"

Kaiba snickered, proud of his work. That would teach the insolent whelp to ever steal HIS bed, which really wasn't his, but says so anyway. Malik looked up at him with new found admiration. While all of the hikaris were wooing poor Yami, Bakura and Malik were looking up at Kaiba as their new idol. Then, a thought struck Malik. He still hadn't gotten changed! Being in a rush, he threw on his average clothes, and ran back into the room with Kaiba to find Bakura worshipping him like a god. It figured, though, since Bakura and Yami still had a thing against one another, ever since Bakura tried to take his soul, kill off his friends, steal his millennium item, try to start havoc all over the world, and, above all else, had once stolen his lunch.

Malik wasn't too fond of the idea of Bakura hovering over Kaiba like that. Kaiba was his, dammit. There was no way he was going to let some psycho bitch hang on to him.

"Hey, do you want to go now?" Malik asked him, hoping he could pry him away from Bakura.

"Huh? Oh sure," he replied, beginning to head for the door.

Bakura ran in front of him. "I'll go with you too!"

"NO!" Malik screamed, not even wanting to think of having his first date with Kaiba ruined by this third wheel.

"I'm going, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"But-but!"

"Bakura," Ishtar stepped forward, "I need help finding one of my earrings. It's here somewhere, so help me look for it."

Bakura looked annoyed, but figured he'd help considering he still owed him a favor. As he walked off into the bedroom to search for it, Ishtar mouthed 'You owe me' to his yami and then followed Bakura. 

Malik and Kaiba made their way out of the apartment, and over to the festival. Malik couldn't help thinking how great it was to be alone with Kaiba, and how grateful he was to his hikari. The stage had been set, and now all he needed to do was capture the heart of his love object. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of one of the game booths.

"Step right up and win a bear for your honey! Just shoot down the moving numbers, and you win," the vendor shouted to the crowds. Kaiba looked down at Malik and then stepped up to the booth and bought a round.

_'Right,'_ he thought to himself, _'Just shoot the numbers. How hard can that be?'_

The game began, and Kaiba, with full confidence, began to shoot at the numbers. It was too bad his marksmanship sucked, and this started to infuriate him. He lost pretty quickly, and found himself in a bad mood, unable to win the bear for Malik. The vendor, being a nice guy, gave him a consolation lolli pop. Malik and Kaiba then left the booth.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Malik said, trying to console him, "You tried your best."

Kaiba just shook his head. "Here," he handed Malik the lolli pop, "You can have it." 

Kaiba was a tad bit surprised when Malik suddenly hugged him. It was just a lolli pop! Not sure what to do, Kaiba just patted Malik on the back a bit, and then mentioned he was hungry, and that they should get something to eat. They then started for the diner down the street.

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Might be continued...

Okay, I guess I didn't really get as mushy in this chapter as I thought I would. I was too busy contemplating Kaiba's tankcoat thing. Anywho, it's all starting up, but I didn't want to make the chapter miserably long, so I just cut it at the diner. Once again, it's up to you if you want it continued. If you don't, I understand perfectly, but if you do, tell me and I'll make another. Yeah, I'm contemplating many other couples coming in on the scene, and one definitely showing in the next one, if written. For now, I'll go about my business, write another random humour fic, and get many flames for that too. Later. 


	3. Whip Cream, Chocolate, and all that's no...

Wow... I never actually thought I'd write a third chapter to this... Well, I guess I am, so I might as well put some effort into it. Okay, I'll **try** to do something in this one that's more gushy than the previous two chapters (which had a negative romance reading), and actually have some deep stuff happen (considering it's me, good luck). Now, just read.

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Chapter 3

Kaiba and Malik were seated at the diner, and given their menus. Malik found himself not very hungry, for his mind was else where. Kaiba, though, seemed to be busy at the moment, figuring out what he wanted to order. Finally, the waitress came over to take their order.

"Hello, what would you like to drink today?" the waitress asked, pulling out her notepad and pencil.

"I'd like coke, please," Malik replied.

Kaiba scanned the beverage section quickly and said, "I think I'll take your chocolate malt, super size."

Malik just looked at him with a bit of astonishment. How could he possibly take down one of those without gaining five billion pounds? He hen concluded that his love muffin must have a rocket metabolism.

"And are you all ready to order?"

Malik nodded. "Yeah, I'd like an order of fries."

"Okay, and you sir?" The waitress waited for Kaiba to make up his mind.

"Oh... I'll just take one of your extra fudgy, exploding with chocolate, guaranteed to give you a heart attack cakes."

"Alright, so an order of fries and a piece of extra chocolate cake."

"No, no, no, no, no," Kaiba corrected her, "Not a piece; give me the whole friggin cake."

"...The whole cake sir?"

"Yes, the whole bloody cake."

"Okay... an order of fries and... a cake..."

The waitress then hurried off to have the order placed with the chefs and get away from 'that psyco cake eater.' Malik couldn't help now but stare at the man sitting across from him. A whole cake? What's wrong with him? Kaiba realized Malik's uneasy looks and decided to address them.

"What? You've never seen a guy eat a cake before?"

"No... it's just... a whole cake?! What's wrong with you?!"

"What are you talking about? You're the one who asked me out. What's wrong with you?"

"... a lot... I guess," Malik suddenly got quiet, and Kaiba realized that there was something burdening Malik's mind, something horrible. Being the great guy he is, Kaiba figured he'd let Malik carry it. No point in ruining the day for both of them! It was quiet for a while, then Kaiba broke the silence.

"Geez, how long does it take to bake a cake?! I've been waiting for a whole five minutes!"

Malik raised his head. "Hey, Kaiba?" Kaiba looked over at Malik. "I was wondering... would it be okay if I..." He stopped, and looked back down at the table.

"Ya know, it isn't too nice to get a person's attention, start saying something, and then leaving them hanging."

"I know but... Never mind."

"Tell me."

"It's stupid."

"So? Tell me anyway."

"I just wanted to ask something."

"Then ask me."

"I don't know."

"ASK ME ALREADY!!"

"I just wanted to know if..." Malik blushed. "I wanted to know if... I could call you by your first name..."

Kaiba just looked at him. "...That's it? You were freaking out over that?"

"Er... yeah."

"Fine. I really don't care which one you call me."

"Thanks... Seto."

"... are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're talking like you're part of a badly written romance novel."

"......"

There was really not much to say about that, so they both just dropped the issue. Kaiba went on to other pressing issues.

"Anyway, I'm not hungry anymore, so let's just leave."

"But what about our order?"

"What about it?"

Malik shrugged and they left the diner. They began to wander aimlessly through the crowds of people, not really saying much to each other. Malik being at a loss of words, and Kaiba with other things on his mind, the only noise was from the many people surrounding them. 

Meanwhile, at the apartment, everybody had left for the festival except for Jounouchi and Bakura. Jounouchi had decided to take this time to guard the bed, so that he would be assured a comfortable sleep that night. Bakura hadn't left because he wasn't much for environments filled with happy people. They too loud, obnoxious, and way too damn perky. Besides, he had other things in store for the day. He walked up behind Jounouchi and, without warning, pulled the blonde haired boy towards himself.

"Wha-What are you doing?!" Jounouchi asked alarmed. Why was Bakura coming at HIM?! Not that it was really that bad considering he's hot (this is obviously written by a girl... or some dude who is obnoxiously gay, but I think your best bet is with the first option), but still, he had never even contemplated any type of relationships. Sure, maybe a few parties which never got around to happening, picking up some chicks, doing some horizontal dancing, and waking up the next morning thinking 'who the hell is THAT lady?' but he didn't think that he'd be hit on by some other guy.

"You seem nervous," Bakura said with a smirk playing across his face. He loved watching people squirm in his grasp, that and sugar cookies. Just thought you should know. "You know, I could make the time pass by really quickly for you if you'd be willing to... cooperate..."

"Dude, you're freaking me out! Since when were you one of those dark, try to be seductive, freakishly gay guys?!"

"... I don't know..." Bakura pondered the thought for a little bit. "Well, in any case, you've got nice shoes... now let's screw."

"WHA?!" Before he had time to object, Bakura had pushed him onto the bed and was now jumping up and down, clapping his hands.

"Oh good! This'll be so much fun! Now wait there, Jounouchi, while I fetch the whip cream and cherries!"

Back with Malik and Kaiba, they had walked to the park to get away from the noisy crowds. There weren't any people in the park because everyone was in town enjoying the festivities. The two of them went on over an sat on one of the park benches under a nice large tree. Malik looked up at Kaiba, who was still lost in his thoughts. He then figured it would be to interrupt his ponderment.

"Seto, what are you thinking about?"

Kaiba looked at him with a large smile. "I think I've finally decided."

"Decided on what?"

"When Anzu goes to sleep, I'll sneak into her room, shoot her full of some incurable poison that makes you die REALLY slowly, and then leave the syringes in Yami's pocket, thus getting rid of two rivals in one shot."

"... you've been thinking about that... this whole time?" Malik was a bit disappointed. He had been hoping that Kaiba would at least give a little thought to 'them,' which really hadn't been established yet. This was making him feel a bit insecure. Kaiba then spoke.

"Am I a sex object to you?"

Malik snapped his head in Kaiba's direction, his eyes really wide. Where the hell had that come from?

"W-what?!"

"Hmm?" Kaiba then focused his attention on Malik. "Sorry, I was reading some pamphlet somebody had left here. Did you say something?"

Malik shook his head. He then rested his head against Kaiba's shoulder. He was relieved that Kaiba didn't push him away or flinch. Still, Malik wished he'd do more than just sit there. 

"Malik, are you tired?" Kaiba asked, noticing Malik's eyes were closed, he was leaning on him, and that type of stuff.

"A little," he replied, "Do you want to go back to the apartment?"

Kaiba nodded and helped Malik get up. They then headed for the apartment. Speaking of the apartment...

"No! NO!! This is wrong!" Jounouchi yelled holding onto his boxers for dear life.

"Oh come on! I'm only going to ravage you!" Bakura said excitedly, trying to relieve Jounouchi of his undies.

"NO WAY!!! I'M ALWAYS THE MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! ME!!!"

"That's probably why you've never had one. Now take the Calvin Kleins off!"

"NO!!!"

Just then, Malik and Kaiba walked into the room. Kaiba stared in shear horror at the display before him.

"UGH!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!! I SLEEP IN THAT BED!"

"Bakura started it!" Jounouchi said defensively, finally able to push the raging yami off of him.

"Did not!" Bakura protested, "Jounouchi came up to me, forced me on the bed and said, 'Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?' See, so he was the one trying to get in MY pants! Not that I can blame him, I mean, I'm so terribly sexy and Mmph! But still!"

Kaiba glared at Jounouchi. "You pervert! Now I'll never be able to sleep in that bed and have clean dreams."

"But it wasn't my fault! Bakura did it!!!"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Yeah, suuure he did."

"I'm serious!"

Sadly, Kaiba wasn't in the mood for believing Jounouchi, but at the moment was a bit too tired to care. She walked out of the room and plopped on the couch. He figured he might go to sleep early. This was much to Malik's dismay. He still hadn't had the time to put his suave moves on the lil' bugger. He sighed and walked over to where Kaiba lay.

"Hey Seto, could I join you?"

Seto looked at him. "... I'm not in the mood."

"No, I didn't mean that! I just don't want to sleep on the floor."

"Suit yourself." Kaiba scooted over a bit, making room for Malik. The yami made himself comfortable, totally stoked that he'd get to be this close to his sugar bunny, but the only problem was figuring out if they were actually an item.

"Seto... are we together now?" Malik then realized Kaiba had already fallen asleep, so there was no use in asking. Besides, he didn't want to wake him up. Malik smiled, snuggled close to the other boy and fell asleep.

... I finally added 'mushy-ness'... I think that some parts would be classified as that... right? Yeah, I'm still not too good at this lovey stuff, but if I can expand on this category, then it will prove I'm invincible... then again, I'd then have to master poetry, and I'm even worse at that than I am romance stuff... Anywho, review, tell me what you think. I it's good, it's good, if it sucked, it sucked, and tell me if I should write another chapter.


	4. The Pedophile in Us All

... four chapters already. I was thinking about making the last chapter the final one, but then i found myself with nothing to do today, so here I am writing another piece... I really need to get a life. I'm so mad! My friends are gone for memorial day weekend so I'm the only one stuck here!! GRAAA!!! Well, go on to reading this installment too, tell me if it's okay, if I should even bother, and that type of stuff.

**Chapter 4**

Ishtar and Yami were busy walking about the festival, picking up munchies here and there, running from vendors for not paying, and all of the other usual stuff one would do at these social gatherings. Yami was quite happy, because he had had his eye on his blonde haired friend for quite some time, and now he was actually going places with him. Ishtar, on the other hand, wasn't as joyful, mostly because he hadn't had the courage the day before to ask HIM to the festival, and went with Yami instead, trying not to be rude. 

"Hey, you've been quiet for a while," Yami said, looking over at Malik with curiosity. "What's on your mind?"

Malik sighed. "Not much really. I guess I just don't really have much to comment on."

"Hmm... The festival really doesn't have much, does it?"

"Not really."

"Should we head back to the apartment?"

"Yeah, okay."

Ishtar was feeling more bummed out now than usual. He was sure the HE was having a good time, but with someone else. He tried to shake the feeling off, and tried to remain somewhat pleasant, hoping not to ruin Yami's day. Yami, on the other hand, didn't seem to be doing to well either. So far, whenever he spoke to Ishtar, the most he got was a grunt or an 'uh huh.' He had wished he could read the boy's mind so that he could find out what was wrong with him. Still, though, Ishtar remained silent, and Yami thought it might be best to do the same.

Back at the apartment, Malik woke up to find Kaiba gone, and Bakura drawing on the wall with a box of crayons. 

"Hey, where did Seto go?" Malik asked the aspiring artist. Bakura finished a swirly green doodle, and then replied to him.

"Woke up, saw you, and committed suicide."

"Funny, wise ass. Now seriously, tell me."

Bakura pulled out a purple crayon and started scibbling. "He left a little while ago, but didn't say where he was going. Not that I really care."

"Oh... wait... what about Jounouchi?" Malik then remembered the whole scene he and Kaiba ad stumbled upon when entering the apartment.

Bakura smiled, wrapped his arms around himself, and rolled about on the floor. "Jounouchi, Jounouchi, JOUNOUCHI!!!"

"... Have you been drinking again?"

Bakura shook his head, and then started laughing for no reason at all. Malik was now starting to get really curious about the whole ordeal.

"What, you stumbled on cloud nine or something?"

"NOPE!!"

"Then why are you acting so happy and saying Jounouchi's name over and over again?"

"Huh? Oh..." Bakura sat up and looked up at the ceiling, as if trying to recollect a distant memory. "I dunno. I guess I had nothing better to do than scream it a couple times... Oh wait! Now I remember!!" Bakura snapped his head towards his masterpiece that he had been completing a few minutes ago. He pointed to it and said, "Jounouchi!"

"... Is that supposed to be him, or something?"

Bakura nodded.

"Is it just me, or is somebody stabbing him to death?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, the stick figure with the knife there is me," Bakura beamed with pride.

"If you were just trying to get down with him, then why are you drawing a picture that depicts you murdering stick Jou?"

"Well, you see, I liked him an hour ago. But since then, I've changed, and now have found someone even more lust worthy."

"Who?"

Bakura clapped his hands together. "Mokuba!"

"You're messed up."

"Yes, I know!"

Kaiba then walked through the door with a huge bag. He plopped it down on the ground and sat on the couch.

"Well that takes care of that," he said as if he had accomplished some great task. Malik looked a the bag in wonder.

"What's in it?"

"New bedding! Now I'll be able to sleep on the matress of comfiness without being plagued with thoughts of Bakura jumping on a whip cram covered Jounouchi."

Jounouchi came out from the other room. "Hey, it wasn't like he had my consent, you know!" Malik looked over at him.

"Oh, so you're home after all."

"Yeah, just taking a bath to get rid of all that nasty stuff." He shook his head. "I'll never be able to look at a pack of cool whip the same again."

Bakura listened to the conversation, but didn't jump in to add any comments. He was busy coloring in a swarm of flies over stick Jou's dead carcass. Kaiba took notice of his artwork, and stared at it for a while.

"What is it?" He finally asked.

Bakura shrugged. "A mural foretelling the future, I guess."

Kaiba nodded and then felt like something was laying on his lap. He looked down to see Malik's head facing up at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, why?"

While that was going on, Jounouchi left in search of food, and Bakura went into the other room, beginning to plot the 'Mokuba Seduction Project.' This left Malik and Kaiba alone in the same room, able to talk out whatever (yes, I do believe you see how my literary techniques are working right now). 

Malik stared up at Kaiba, wondering if he was going to tell him to get off. He didn't though, but instead placed one hand in his hair for a moment, and then withdrew it.

"What's wrong?" Malik asked, thinking that maybe Kaiba wasn't sure about what he was doing.

Kaiba just simply said, "There was a piece of sticky gunk in your hair." He showed him some nasty looking wad on his finger. Malik's face flushed. The last thing he needed to know was that he had been walking along side Kaiba the whole day with that THING in his hair. Kaiba realized his frustration and chuckled (that's such a cool word! Reminds me of fat people).

"Don't worry. I didn't notice till now," he said reassuringly. Malik blushed, and turned his face away. Was he really that easy to read? He turned another few shades of red when Kaiba's hand brought his face looking back up at him again. _'Alright, this is my chance. I should tell him how I feel,'_ he thought to himself.

"Uh... Seto?"

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted you to know that I... I..."

"You what?"

"I lo-"

He was interrupted by loud, maniacal cackling from the other room. Bakura ran out, a devious smile spread wide across his face. 

"I've done it!" He said, his voice full of triumph. "I have devised to perfect plan to catch Mokuba's lil' heart!"

"You what?!" Kaiba stood up quickly, fearing what Bakura had in store for his little brother. "Don't you realize my brother is WAY too young to get into a relationship?"

Bakura waved his hand at him as if dissmissing the very thought. "No, you don't understand. I'm not going to start up a 'relationship' with him. We're just gonna fiddle around a bit till I get tired and move on to the next shmuck."

"You really think I'd stand here and let you get away with it?!"

"I wan't sure," Bakura admitted openly as if he had done nothing wrong, "I just thought I'd throw it out there, thinking you might give me your consent."

"Don't joke around with me."

"... I wasn't."

"You sick fuck! Keep the hell away from my little brother!"

Bakura displayed a look as if he had been stabbed in the heart by his own mother. "You don't understand!" He yelled, "You just don't want me to have fun and keep Mokukins all to yourself! I HATE YOU!!" Bakura then decided to do a dramatic, run out of the apartment scene. It was too bad that the door was locked and he had to fiddle with it for a few minutes, until he realized that factor. Instead of running, he just stomped off, making a mental note of obliterating the door for vengeance purposes when he came back home.

Kaiba started for the door, when Malik stopped him.

"You're going to find Mokuba, right? Let me come with you."

Kaiba nodded, and then they both headed out in search of Mokuba, in hopes of finding him before Bakura did.

__

To be continued...

Oh my, the plot thickens. Now we've got three couple alerts (even though I probably shouldn't consider Bakura/Mokuba one, but still). Even though I hate to admit it, I'm actually having fun writing this story, even though I don't like adding in mushy gross scenes. More or less, I'm amused by the little world I've created, and, due to my sick sense of humour, find making all of the apartment dwellers so irritably gay funny. Mayve it's just me... Anywho, review, if you will, and I'll tremendously appreciate it.


	5. Ice cream and Stuff

Five chapters ago, this was going to be a one chapter fic, but expanded as I found myself unable to think of an ending, and later found myself enjoying what I was writing, mostly because it wasn't done in script format, and if I don't have anything random to say, I can actually get away with it by inserting a serious scene until some new stupid thought comes to mind. Now, if I could only delete the romance part of the romance story, it would be perfect. Too bad it would just go under boring humour... well, whatever. Enjoy reading the fifth installment of this story (I forgot what i called it... -_-;)

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Chapter 5

Mokuba was hanging out over at an ice cream booth with Ryou and Yugi. At the moment, he was sampling his favorite flavour, chocolate with pounded peanut butter cups. Ryou was treating him for being such a good little boy, and Yugi was there because he was his 'Shoots and Ladders' buddy. Of course, Yugi used to always beat him, but Mokuba had turned the tables by buying a fixed pair of dice. Let's see who's be winning now.

"Is your ice cream any good?" Ryou asked him, taking his mind off of how he'd somehow rig a deck of cards to beat Yugi at poker with.

"Yeah, it's great!" Mokuba replied giddly. Being ten or so, he was allowed to act like a school girl, even though if he kept it up when he got to be older, he'd be giving out a few too many gay vibes to everyone who came within a football field's distance of him. Once again, he's a kid, so no, he's not gay, he's just being little boy-like.

"That's good," Ryou replied, and went back to his own ice cream cone. Then, a loud scream was heard. Yugi's ice cream had fallen off the cone and onto his new pair of shoes.

"Oh no! My precious shoes," Yugi squealed in agony. He then told Ryou and Mokuba that he'd be going to the bathroom in hopes that the water from the sink would revive his lovely bargain sneakers. So Ryou and Mokuba were left there eating their ice cream. Then Ryou got an idea.

"Hey, how about going to sit down some place?" It was logical, sitting down in order to relieve ones legs from tiredness (I'm obviously bored if I'm writing down the reasons behind sitting). So they walked over to a bench and sat... and ate ice cream. 

It wasn't too much later that Bakura came walking up to them. Of course, he had his own devious plans being set into motion, mostly having to do with Mokuba, handcuffs, and a bar of soap(?). 

"Hey there Mokuba, could I talk to you for a moment?"

Ryou stood up first, though, suspicious of his Yami's intentions. "You aren't planning anything good for him, are you."

"What are you talking about? My thoughts are of the purest intentions." Bakura gave him a saintly smile.

"I don't know. The last time you asked to talk to someone for a moment, they had been hog tied, gutted, and different appendages were strewn about."

"Well that delivery boy shouldn't have made fun of my sweater," Bakura said indignantly. "Besides, I have different things in store for dear, sweet Mokuba."

Mokuba hid behind Ryou. "I don't want to go," he squeaked as images of gruesome delivery boys clouded his thoughts. Bakura grew tired of this insubordination quickly, but still had ways of convincing his new figure of amusement.

"Come with me and I'll give you a piece of candy."

At hearing those words, Mokuba skipped happily over to Bakura, and they began to walk off, leaving Ryou standing at the bench.

Meanwhile, Kaiba and Malik had searched all over for the kid. Where could he possibly be? It was while looking that they saw a very gloomy Yugi staggering by. Kaiba grabbed Yugi, thinking he might know where Mokuba was.

"Yugi, have you seen my little brother anywhere?" He asked urgently. Yugi shook his head.

"The last I saw him, he was with Ryou. I'm not sure where they went, though."

Kaiba nodded and then walked off, Malik dragging at his heels. Finally, they found Ryou sitting on the park bench, looking miserable.

"Ryou, where's Mokuba?" Malik asked him, seeing that Mokuba was nowhere in sight.

"Bakura came and took him," Ryou replied, not looking up at either of them. He figured that Bakura was up to no good, and he had let Mokuba go with him without doing anything. Of course, his feelings wouldn't gain him pity. Kaiba was pissed, and he grabbed Ryou by the shirt collar.

"You let him take Mokuba?!" He yelled in his face, "You had better have a good reason why! You know exactly how Bakura is!"

"I don't have one," Bakura said an almost inaudible voice. Kaiba had every right to be mad at him, considering he had basically handed Mokuba over to some whacko who was probably eating his intestines at that very moment out of having nothing better to do.

Kaiba smacked him across the face. "Tell me where they went right now!"

"I don't know."

"URGH!! You're so useless! All your good for is cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, working, and paying bills!"

"... and knitting."

"Okay, yes, I'll admit that the afghan you made was simply lovely, but right now there's a tad more at stake," Kaiba said, seeming to have calmed down a bit. "Do you have any idea where he would have taken Mokuba?"

"Probably the apartment. He doesn't have anywhere else to go."

It was a no shit answer. Kaiba let go of Ryou and he and Malik headed back to the apartment. Ryou went with them, feeling responsible for what had happened. When they arrived at the apartment, Mokuba was sitting on the couch eating a jam sandwich while Bakura drew another mural on the wall. Ryou rushed over to where Mokuba sat.

"Mokuba, are you alright?!" He asked totally concerned.

Mokuba nodded. "Fine, why?"

Kaiba looked over at Bakura. "What did you do to him?"

"Well, originally I had the intention of making a Mokuba sandwich, but the other piece of bread was missing, so I dropped the idea."

"Okay... don't go near my little brother again."

"No problem. I've noticed someone else far more sexy than he."

"Who is it this time?"

"Honda."

"NOW THAT IS INSULTING TO THE WHOLE KAIBA FAMILY!!!" Kaiba screamed as Bakura finished the newest part of his mural, depicting a stick Mokuba playing with a bouncy ball in the middle of a busy street. He didn't pay much to Kaiba's rants about how terribly sexy his whole family lineage was and the ever agreeing Malik in the background. He was too busy now plotting his newest scheme in getting what he wanted, but then realized that he'd have to be on drugs in he were to be chasing after Honda, so he scrapped the idea and came up with a better one. He then walked off to the other room, where he was to chart out his plans, away from public ear.

Malik was happy that Kaiba found his brother safe and undefiled, but thought it kind of sucked that now he wouldn't get the chance for a while to get at his sugar pie, not wanting to traumatize Mokuba at the same time and all. Ryou was also glad that Mokuba had been found untouched, because now he wouldn't need to take the blame for any wrong doing. 

Kaiba walked over to the sliding glass door, and motioned to Malik to follow him. Malik's heart raced as he walked out onto the balcony once more with Kaiba next to him.

__

To be continued...

One more chapter down. I'm not sure how long this whole thing is going to be, but I do know that there will most definitely be seven of them, at least. If this is a good or a bad thing, I don't know, but if you've read this far without problem, then I'm sure it shouldn't be too bad. This chapter, though, came out to be more serious than I had hoped. Then again, it figures since it's 9:20 at night, I have a paper due tomorrow, and I haven't started on it yet. I guess I might as well get that done with. Later.


	6. On the balcony again

This chapter of the story probably won't be the best, mostly because it's being written in order to make a bridge to chapter seven (I don't know why, but while writing ch.2, I decided that if I got to a seventh chapter, it'd be the totally messed up one). Then again, this one might actually turn out okay. I won't know till I finish it, so till then, I guess your just stuck reading it.

****

Chapter 6

Malik and Kaiba stood on the balcony once again, and it was like reliving the same scene from the night before, except it was the afternoon, not evening. Malik wondered why Kaiba had called him out there onto the balcony, but there they were once again. Once again, it hit him. This would be the perfect opportunity to ask Kaiba about his feelings, a mood that had been set up before in earlier chapters, but always got messed up by something. Now, though, there wasn't anything that could possibly get in the way. Malik swallowed down his hesitation, and finally let the caged bird fly.

"Seto, I know you probably don't feel the same way, but... I love you!" 

"... You're right. I don't."

And then the bird was shot down by a twelve gauge shot gun, exploded into tiny pieces, which were then chewed on my a mob of hungry kitties. Malik suddenly felt very small and insignificant, and he wanted to hide in a little hole and die. Kaiba continued his statements.

"I'm sorry I led you on, making totally look like we were going to end up a couple and all, but I'm actually in love with someone else."

Even though it really hurt, Malik was glad Kaiba was being honest with him. Still, he had wished he had kept his mouth shut. He wanted to know now, more than anything, who stole his Kaibakins away from him.

"Tell me at least, who is it that you care about so much? You owe me that much, I'm sure."

"Well, it was a few days ago I was in the bathroom, finishing my shower, when I looked over to see some other guy n there with me. Normally I'd probably get pissed and tell him to go screw himself because he wouldn't get his hands on my beef cake-like self. This dude was different, though. He was tall, brown haired, and damn sexy. I fell in love at first sight. What perplexed me was that his clothes were kind of gone, but whatever, we're both guys so who cares? Anyway, we walked towards each other, but there was a large sheet of glass in the way. It really sucked, so I tried breaking the glass between us, and he was gone. I'm thinking he ran, afraid he would get hit by the sharp edges, but I haven't seen him since..."

Malik couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Seto... did it ever occur to you that you were looking into a mirror?"

Kaiba's eyes suddenly opened wide and his mouth gaped open a bit. Holy crap, he was in love with himself. Who would have thought?

"Gee, I didn't realize how sinfully beautiful I am," he said in disbelief, "I mean, I knew I was damn sexy but YEOW!"

"I'm glad you've gone through your whole revelation on how hot you are, but you give a bit more thought about 'us'?"

"Huh? Oh yeah!"

Malik shook his head. He still liked him but, crap, Kaiba was dumb as a post. It was quite sad, if you think about it, that he's considered to be a genius in that city. Still, that meant he wouldn't have to worry so much of ever having to be taken advantage of, and he could manipulate the relationship however he wanted. Malik smiled at the thought of having power over other human beings, and making them do his bidding. He then snapped back into focus to press the issues at hand once more.

"So... do you love me too?"

"Okay, I guess so."

It wasn't the exact answer he was looking for, but it would have to do. Kaiba, though, was thinking along totally different lines. In truth, he wasn't that brain dead, but instead, he figured it was the best way of going without making Malik totally miserable. He saw the look in his eyes when he said he liked someone else, and knew if he didn't make something up, Malik would be sad. He most certainly couldn't tell him the truth on who he was really referring to when he talked of that other person. It was something he'd keep to himself for the time being, because it would be better that way.

Now back inside the house, Bakura had finished his mural, and found himself as bored as hell. He then took notice of the lovely little couple outside talking, and a new malicious thought came into play. What if he were to aim at Malik, pissing Kaiba totally off. Then he realized that Kaiba was twice his size and would beat him to a bloody pulp, so he revised the plan, and made Kaiba the object of his flirtatiousness, and Malik could be the jealous party. Oh yes, making other's lives living hell, it was what he lived for.

Ryou looked over, noticing the malicious look on Bakura's face, and knew he was up to something. Of course, he didn't know what, and because he didn't want to disturb Mokuba, he decided to keep it to himself and just make a mental note to question his yami later.

It was around that time that Yami and Ishtar entered the apartment. Both of them looked pretty bummed out, even though it was for two totally different reasons. Yami was feeling down because Ishtar wasn't talking to him, being preoccupied in his thoughts, which just so happened to be Ishtar's problem. He had been really hoping to go to the festival with the person he loved most, but didn't get the chance. So, both of them plopped onto the couch next to Ryou and Mokuba, taking notice of the squiggles all over the wall, but didn't bother to ask.

"How was your day today?"Ryou asked them inquisitively, realizing that something wasn't right with them. Both of them just simply shook their heads, and Ishtar replied to him.

".. Everything's fine." Sure, it was a complete and total lie, but he didn't feel like telling the truth at the moment in time. There were still a few other issues he had to fix in his head, things that he really didn't like to dwell on for too long. Ishtar began to wonder if the one he cared about had the same problems he did.

Everyone seemed to be in a somber mood right then inside the apartment. Inside and outside thing were going on. Malik smiled at Kaiba bleakly, he knew that Kaiba wasn't being truthful in his words to the fullest extent, but he didn't question him, and planned to go on as if he didn't know. He didn't know that Kaiba had someone else in mind, but he did know that he didn't feel the way that he felt for him. Still, he didn't want to ruin the moment, so he remained silent.

That night was pretty slow. Jounouchi, Honda, and Yugi finally showed up later, and they too seemed to be in a bad mood. Yugi because his four dollar shoes had been ruined, Jounouchi was still afraid that Bakura might try to tackle him to the bed or something, and Honda was mad because everyone gets attention except for him. 

This time the bed went to Ishtar; surprisingly Jounouchi didn't bother fighting for it this time (probably because he was afraid what Bakura might do while he was asleep), Yugi got the couch, and Ryou and Yami got to be the pillow bearers. The rest were stuck with the floor. 

The night was restless, and even though everyone lay quietly, they were all awake, waiting for the morning to come, but not daring to make a noise, thinking it would be best not to wake everyone. Bakura was also awake, so he figured this would be the best time to put his plan in motion. So he got up and began walking the lengths of the apartment, heading towards his destination... Kaiba...

__

To be continued... most probably...

Yes, I'm practically positive that there will be a seventh chapter. I have had it planned out that the next one will just be totally messed up and weird. I'll try not too make it too bad (I really don't want to step up the rating again), but it will be, by all means, quite disturbing. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh yeah, sorry this chapter was such a downer. I just needed to get a sixth one down so I could get to lucky seven. Still, tell me what you think, k?


	7. The messed up night

YEAH!!! I'm finally writing the very much anticipated seventh chapter! It is guaranteed to chill you, thrill you, and fulfill you (hail to the Rocky Horror Picture Show), so read it! Oh yeah, this is to be the most disturbing turn in the fic story, so be warned. MUCH FREAKY CRAP WILL HAPPEN!!! Yes, now that that's been said, go on and read, and be happier, if possible.

****

Chapter 7

Bakura made his way to where Kaiba lay, grinning ear to ear with anticipation. He had been forming his fool proof plan for a whole... fifteen minutes or so, before that he was just thinking about what Malik would attempt to do to him for trying to steal his honey bee. He brought himself over the sleeping boy, only to be tapped on the shoulder by someone behind him. Bakura's breath tightened as he looked over his shoulder, and then calmed down again to find that it was only Honda.

"Honda, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'd like to ask you the same question. I'd also like to ask you an even better one like why you didn't come for me in the middle of the night instead of Kaiba." Honda looked at Bakura totally pissed. In truth, no, he didn't have a thing for Bakura at all, but he was driving at something else all together. 

Bakura shook his head and simply replied, "I'm sorry, but... I want a hotty... not you."

That did it. Honda's eyes swelled up with a fury of a thousand suns. Yep, you guessed it! Honda was about to go on one of his screaming rants on injustice, much to Bakura's dismay.

"HOT ENOUGH??!! HOT ENOUGH?????!!!!!! I'LL SHOW YOU HOT BUCKO!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO REALLY PISS ME OFF WITH YOUR 'OH KAIBA'S SO HOT' AND 'MY GOODNESS! LOOK AT MALIKS HOT ASS!' DO WE EVER HEAR THE GIRLS SWOONING OVER MY ASS???? WELL?! DO YOU??!!!! NNOOOO!!!! MY ASS APPARENTLY ISN'T PINCH WORTHY!!!"

Everybody else in the apartment was now waking up, unable to sleep through one of Honda's tangents. Yugi stared blankly over at them. "What's going on?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON???!!!! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON!!! I'M FRIGGIN PISSED AT YOU ALL!!! ALL OF YOU, EVERY ONE OF YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE FAN CULTS THAT'LL STEAL YOUR BOXERS, DRAW DIRTY PICTURES OF YOU, AND WRITE DISTURBING FAN STORIES ABOUT YOU GUYS GETTING IT ON WITH EACHOTHER... except for Mokuba, for some strange reason... BUT OTHERWISE, YOU ALL HAVE GOT SOMETHING!!! ME THOUGH?!! NUH UH, NADA! IT'S NOT FAIR, I TELL YOU!!"

"Geez Honda, calm down!" Yami said irritably, trying to get some shut eye. Of course, being irritated with an angry Honda never did help the situation.

"OH, NOW YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?! WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AND BLAH ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN HEART OF THE FUCKIN CARDS?!! DUDE, IT'S RANDOMIZED BY THE SHUFFLE, AND DEPENDS ON THE LUCK OF THE DRAW! IF THE CARD YOU WANT IS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WISH FOR IT, IT'LL STILL BE ON THE BOTTOM OF THE STUPID DECK!!! YOU DON'T EVEN GET THAT, AND YOU SOUND LIKE A GAY ASS RETARD EVERYTIME YOU GIVE THAT IDIOTIC SPEECH, AND YET THE GIRLS STILL FALL FOR YOU!! NERDY LITTLE BOYS ARE INSPIRED BY YOU TO GO WASTE THEIR MONEY ON YUGI DECKS, WHICH JUST SIMPLY REPLACE POKEMON CARDS!!! BECAUSE OF YOU, THIS WORLD IS A BAD PLACE, AND YET PEOPLE STILL WANT YOU IN IT BECAUSE THEIR BRAINS HAVE ROTTED BEYOND HUMAN COMPREHENSION!! YET, WHEN SOMEONE LIKE ME COMES ALONG, NO ONE CARES! WHY? BECAUSE MY HAIR LOOKS NASTY, AND I MY LIFE IS WORSE OFF THAN YOURS, CUZ INSTEAD OF PLAYING CARDS, I'M A FRIGGIN CHEERLEADER FOR SOME NERD WHO CAN'T EVEN PUT HIS JACKET ON RIGHT!! AND NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYBODY ELSE YOU DUEL?!! ONE MINUTE YOU'RE REALLY SHORT WITH A TENOR'S VOICE, AND THEN THE NEXT YOU'VE GROWN A FOOT AND HAVE THE VOICE OF A BARITIONE, AND NO ONE EVEN NOTICES!!! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS??!! AM I????!!!!!!"

"Gee, you sure do put yourself down a lot..." Yugi looked at him sympathetically. Honda was about to say more, but was interrupted by Kaiba.

"Hey, er... while you're going on about your issues and stuff... why's Bakura on top of me?" Malik looked over to realize that, too, which totally pissed him off.

"Get the hell off of MY Setokins!!!" He screamed while lunging at the white haired yami. Bakura dodged, being suave like he is, and then laughed to himself.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to steal your shnickle fritz from you!"

"No you won't! Will he Seto?" Malik looked over at Seto, who looked between the both of them.

"Well, if you two want to fight over me, I certainly don't have any objection."

Malik just stared at him with shock. How could is lovey bear be doing this to him? Wasn't it just earlier that day they had decided on becoming a couple? Bakura, though, was happy about this outcome, and tackled Malik. So they started fighting on the floor. Now, considering the chances of everyone turning out to be gay in this story is quite high, Yugi, Ishtar, and Yami started to chuck in stuff like chocolate syrup, whip cream, sprinkles, and anything else they thought might improve the percentage of kinkiness that the hustle might involve.

Meanwhile, Ryou took Mokuba away from the scene, not wanting his innocent little eyes to be corrupted with such vile filth. Mokuba wasn't to happy about this, though, because he had never seen a bishounen bitch fight before. Still, he did as Ryou said, not only because he was older, therefore suggesting authority, but also it seemed that he had a slight crush on the hikari (yes, I do know that earlier I said that Mokuba wasn't gay, just very little boy-like... I changed my mind). He looked up at Ryou, his large eyes shining in the lamplight.

"Hey, Ryou, um..." Mokuba blushed. He had never professed his love towards anybody before, well, except for that little girl down the street, the other one he had met in the park, the cafeteria lady, school nurse, some girl named Suzie, his brother (O.O) and a few other people. Ryou, being such a smart dude, caught on very quickly.

"I understand how you feel, Mokuba. I feel the same way."

Back to the other room, mostly because I'm not sure at the moment how to carry the other scene over. Malik had Bakura pinned to the ground, but was then shoved off with a kick to the stomach. The spectators of the match, basically everyone except the two contestants and the messed up couple in the other room, sat around eating popcorn and drinking soda. Jounouchi had two bed nights placed on Bakura, and other types of gambling went on over the bout. Kaiba, realizing that his little brother wasn't in the room, went to the other one to check up on him. Then, Kaiba stumbled upon the last thing any big brother would want to see his little brother doing, MAKING OUT WITH RYOU!!! Okay... so maybe it wasn't the LAST thing, but damn close to it. Mokuba's head snapped toward his older brother.

"Big brother I-I can explain!" 

Kaiba, finding it impossible to make words audible at the moment, stared dumfounded at them. Had Ryou taken advantage of him? Could it be some type of love predestined in the stars? Had it been planned out? Where had Mokuba learned how to make out? When did he come across such spiffy tongue movements? All of these questions swirled about in Kaiba's head like a flushing toilet, except the crap wasn't going down the hole.

Malik skipped into the room happily. "I won the... what's going on here?" He was puzzled, coming across Kaiba totally spaced out and Ryou and Mokuba holding onto each other in a far-from-just-friends way. Seeing Malik, Mokuba had his argument.

"Big brother, if you can have a boyfriend, then why can't I?"

Kaiba found his words once more. "Because in our family, I am God. You are to obey my commands! Now go to your room!"

"I don't have a room."

"Oh, well... er.. uh... duh... eh... go to the bathroom then!"

Mokuba muttered stuff under his breath as he stomped towards the bathroom door. Kaiba then turned to Ryou.

"And you... what the hell are you thinking?! My brother is WAY too young for you!"

"What can I say? Age doesn't matter when it comes to love."

"Love? You guys have barely even talked to each other, if at all, before we all moved in together, and even when we did, you guys didn't have any interaction until today!"

"... Love has no time limit?"

"Sorry, I'm afraid it usually does."

"... I make good afghans."

Kaiba stood silent. It was true, Ryou DID make good afghans, fantastic, actually. Because of this, Kaiba had no come back to think of (neglecting the fact that afghans have nothing to do with the situation). He just gave a flustered glare and stormed into the other room.

Malik, worried about his sweet potato pie, followed him in hopes of giving some type of condolence. Ryou decided to the same for his little sugar foot, and moseyed on down to the bathroom.

While all this was going on, Bakura, meanwhile, was plotting some new maniacal scheme, as he did everyday when he wasn't busy drawing on the wall. He was running out of options for who to go for; Mokuba not being fascinating enough, Yami's cape thing looking gay, Yugi simply looking gay, Kaiba being old news, Ryou... well that was just wrong, too many people wanted him to end up with the Malik people, and Honda being... Honda. Yep, it was time to repeat the cycle and start hitting on Jounouchi again. Of course, this meant also erasing part of his lovely mural, but it was all worth it until he got bored and decided to move on again. Bakura then concluded that he would take care of the 'stabbing stick Jou' scene by covering it with white out. That way if he lost interest, it would be easier to scrape the white out of instead of drawing the picture over again. He also made a mental note to add a picture of Kaiba falling off of a building.

Everybody finally calmed down, and hustled on in to bed, couch, pillow, carpet, whatever they were sleeping in/on. It seemed that this night was the beginning of a very long, awkward relationship amongst them.

I WAS WRONG. This isn't the most disturbing chapter (even though if it turns out to be, I will be quite unhappy with myself). I was losing ideas for random stuff, and I wanted to get it up fast, so I just ended off kind of bland. I'll try to make an actual messed up chapter, that exceeds all human sanity. If not... damn. Anyway, later y'all.


	8. Ishtar's Passion thing

Finally, school is over and I can now move on to the eigth chapter. I wish no7 had come out better, but what can you do, eh? Anywho, this chapter will be a subtle. normal chapter, much like 1-5, and then the next chapter is where things get a tad bit queer... er. Yeah, you'll finally find out about who it is Kaiba has a purple passion for (get it! He's gay and his passion is PURPLE *begins to laugh at her horribly awful pun*) Yes now, let's first go onto thuis chapter where we find out the secret 'longings' of Ishtar, whom I didn't want to name Marik because I hate the dub of this show with the sharp ends of a hundred forks. Malik sounds strained, Ryou has a funny accent which can't pin point the origin of, same goes for Bakura except his voice is deeper, Jounouchi's is messed up, nobody can pronounce Malik's name, not even Malik (which awfully sad), and Kaiba sounds like he's constipated. There were two voices in it, though, I will say that I liked. First would be Mokuba, no real reason, it fits him, I guess (in my mind, anyway) and second would be Pegasus. No, I do NOT think he was dubbed well, but because his voice so awfully wrong, I can't help but laugh my ass off everytime he speaks a sentence. *imagination* _Kaiba boy_ *LMAO* Sorry, if it isn't obvious, I'm easily entertained. Anyway, go on ahead and read the ficcy goodness and live on Kensh- er... fic reader (starting to get my TV series mixed up).

****

Chapter 8

Ishtar got up bright and early the next morning, and figured he might just head out early. He still had a few things he wanted to sort out in his mind, and really didn't want to be around anyone. Also, Yami had been clinging onto him a lot latley, so he figured it best to get out of there before he woke up. He put on his usual shirt and pants (geez, don't these people ever change their clothes) and walked outside. He thought it might be nice to walk to the sea shore since the sound of the ocean waves were always so soothing.

Back at the apartment, Yami was going into hysterics, seeing that his love pookie was no where to be found.

"Ishtar?! ISHTAR!! DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU MARIK, YOU HEAR ME?!!" Bakura looked over at Yami with a new found anger. 

"Will you shut up?! I was in the middle of a very pleasant dream that, morally, I shouldn't have been dreaming."

"YOU!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ISHTAR?!! YOU ATE HIM, DIDN'T YOU?!!" Yami shouted accusingly at the albino, who was glaring back at him menacingly.

"Oh, your days are numbered!" Bakura quickly drew a stick Yami being shot at with a bazooka, and then glared back at him maliciously. "I have just determined your fate. Enjoy life while it lasts." Bakura then walked behind the counter where the mini kitchen was, beginning to make a stew pot worth of Lucky Charms for himself.

Jounouchi got up at hearing all the racket, and walked over to where Bakura was, hoping to relieve him of some of that cereal he had. It was then that it occured to Bakura. Jounouchi seemed to be your average glutton. Why not try to seduce him with nummy food? Sure, he was putting the failed whip cream incident behind him, but kept new hope for maybe a better day. As they say, if first you don't succeed, kill the bastard who beat you and force your subject to do what you want.

"Hey Jou, how would you like to have some delicious lucky charms? I'd be possibly willing to share with you if-"

"Don't mind if I do!" Jounouchi grabbed the stew pot and hauled it off to the couch, where the cereal disappeared within moments. Once again, Bakura's plan had been thwarted, but he still had a back up, which would call for a bed and an abandoned apartment... that or a hotel, but he's cheap like that, so kicking everybody out for the day would be in his best interest.

While all of that was going on, Kaiba was having his own problems. Ishtar hadn't been the only one missing, for Ryou and Mokuba were gone as well. Yugi realized that Kaiba was in a paniced state, and thought maybe he should question him about it.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Mokuba! I think that he may have run off with Ryou, that horrid fiend!"

"Nope, they're here. Ryou led Mokuba off over there, so I wouldn't be surprised if they're making out in the closet."

"... you think that Ryou is taking advantage of my little brother... and you didn't do anything? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Kaiba stormed over to the closet, and sure enough, Mokuba and Ryou were there, but in much different circumstances than Kaiba had thought. Instead of making out they were... playing checkers?

"No, don't jump my king!" Mokuba squealed in horror as Ryou took down his piece.

"Sorry, but I'm not gonna go easy on you just because you're a cutie."

"What the hell's going on here and why are you in the closet?" Kaiba was a tad confused since he had never played checkers before, and couldn't understand why they had to be in a closet to play it. Ryou noticed his confusion and cleared things up.

"You see, this is a board game's similar to chess but much less complicated. We're in the closet because originally we were planning to do very dirty things, but then realized there wasn't enough room, so we pulled this out instead." Ryou gave him a happy, innocent smile and Mokuba cried because of his ass getting totally kicked by the checker master. Kaiba really wasn't sure what to do in this perdicament, seeing that they weren't doing anything 'wrong,' but just admitted they had been planning to, not to mention lord knows what they had been doing before he had woken up. He then did what any responsible big brother would, and left them to their own devices.

Malik had just finished his shower, and quickly ran up to Kaiba's side, thinking that him only in a towel might turn the ex CEO on. Unfortunatley, Kaiba's mind was else where, and didn't pay much attention to Malik at all. Besides his brother damning his soul to the eternal fires of hell with his new dirty life style being formed, he had his own desires that were still unfilled. He wanted so bad to be with HIM right now, but HE didn't seem to realize his existance. Notice how we put HE and HIM in captitals to give it that more drama like effect.

Not really knowing what was going on in Kaiba's head but knowing that he wanted to help him out, Malik thought that he might as well try to ask him some questions, get some answers and make him feel better.

"What's wrong? You can tell me, you know," Malik said, trying to make eye contact. Kaiba sighed and plopped onto the floor.

"It's not anything really." Malik came behind him and began to massage his shoulders, thinking it might release some tension.

"I really do wish you would tell me. I want to help you," he said softly, bringing his arms around Kaiba's neck win a soft embrace.

In other parts of the apartment (the other room to be exact, considering there really aren't many to choose from), Ishtar had come back from his walk and had finally decided. He was going to tell HIM (here we go again) how he felt. It had taken some fresh air and some clearing of the mind, putting his doubts to rest, but he knew that if he didn't do this now, he probably would lose his nerve and not have another opportunity for a very long time. It had taken him a whole fifteen minutes to figure this out, and knew that the time was now. He walked up to the object of his desire and spoke.

"Hey, I wanted you to know that, well, I've been in love with you for a long time now and I just wanted you to know." He turned his face away, embarassed and also scared of what would happen next.

Bakura looked at him, seeing as that he had just gotten a profession of admiration. He thought Ishtar's word over carefully for a second, knowing that now he probably had a free bed ride when he didn't have one of his kooky plans in motion, and finally came up with his answer.

"Well, right now I'm working on my 'seduce Jounouchi project,' so I guess if all works out, I could squeeze you in for a threesome." 

"... You really are kind of kinky, huh?"

"Yeah, just a tad."

Malik shook his head and smiled. "It all sounds good to me. You can fit me in on your messed up adventured whenever you like." For some reason, he found the thought of Bakura being freakishly psycotic and horny a big turn on. Also, as long as he had his thoughts being produced into real life scenarios, there would never be a dull moment. 

A thought just hit Bakura's head. "Hey, while I'm figuring out my next move for my Jounouchi sceme, you wanna make out?"

"Okay!" They then got down behind the counter where they could have a bit of privacy, and Yami wouldn't be able to see what was going on, thus unable to throw a hissy fit. It had been decided that what he doesn't know won't hurt him, and besides, he'll have his own problems in the chapter to come. Yes, you guessed it, this is the end of chapter 8!!!

Ah, one more chapter down. Things are getting a bit strange, neh? The fist half of this story rides along with the other chapters but around the second half things started getting weird it was written while I had a major head ache from eating too many sweets, staying up till 2, waking up at 5am, watching Rocky Horror Picture Show a couple times, followed by listening to the soundtrack. Yeah, I'm still feeling rather tired but can't go to bed because it's 12 now, and when it's the afternoon, it's impossible to go back to sleep. In think I'll pt my DVD on again, and sing and dance along to the Time Warp. Till the next chapter!


	9. Seto's True Love, and Honda's Stretchwor...

Already on chapter nine. By this time, probably the only people reviewing are the ones who already know of this fic, or the ones who have second to nothing to do with their time, seeing as practically no one just pics up a nine chapter story and reads it. At least, that's my view and you may see it differently. Now then, I believe my objectives were to make new waves for Yami, find out about Seto's love interest, and there was one other main thing... I can't put my finger on it because i don' remember, but it has something to do with the 'seduce Jounouchi project.' It'll come to me while writing, but while I do so, I just thought... that mural of Bakura's must be pretty big... I might have him on a ladder drawing on the ceiling later, but I'll decide that later. Now, time for chapter 9!!!

****

Chapter 9

Malik held onto Kaiba's neck, but there was no response. Malik knew he sensed it, but didn't want to acknowledge it and hoped it was just a bad premonition. He was almost sure now, though, that it was true. Kaiba was in love with someone else. it had been kind of him to try to cover up who it was by joking around with the whole mirror theory, but Malik didn't want to joke around anymore. He wanted to know who could possibly be the one taking his Seto away from him.

That, of course, is an awfully dramatic way to start a story, so I'll leave that whole predicament for later on. As for the seduction crew, after a heavy make out session, Bakura had found the answer to winning Jounouchi for himself. Ishtar, of course, was more than obliged to help him, for he found the whole situation rather curious. Also, Jounouchi, though having very large hair, was by all means not unsexy, so having a kinky ol' time was far from a disgusting idea. The both of them began to walk up to the ever unknowing Jounouchi, who was looking at the wall in contentment. You see, they didn't have enough money to buy a TV so they had to use something else as a substitute while using their imaginations. Jounouchi began to laugh at the white wall, because it was making funny faces at him. This was when Ishtar and Bakura decided to pounce. 

Yami sat in the corner staring enviously as Ishtar and Bakura tackled Jounouchi, drowning him in chocolate syrup. He had found out what had been going on between Ishtar and the other yami this morning. It doesn't take much thought when hearing two voices behind the counter going 'Mmph! Ah man, if we could only be in bed!' and 'Oh my! I know what YOU had for breakfast!' Yami had decided not to make a fuss, but was still very jealous of Jounouchi who had Ishtar's full attention, with him licking the chocolaty goodness off his cheek seductively. How could Jounouchi not want that? At the moment, the tall blonde was screaming his head off, and was in a panic attack or something.

"GET OFF OF ME! I'M NOT DIRTY!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! HHEEELLPP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! ACK, BAKURA KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THERE! STOP TOUCHING MY ASS ISHTAR!!! I'M BEING BUTT RAPED I TELL YOU!!! BBBUUTTTTT RRRRAAAAAPPPEEDDD!!!!"

Yugi walked on over observing the situation, trying to understand clearly what was going on. Finally, he realized what was happening to his funny accented (if watching dub) friend.

"Oh! You guys are practicing those wrestling techniques like the ones we used to watch on the television! Now, you guys wait just a moment so I can get popcorn and watch!" Yugi ran off to the mini kitchen as Bakura snickered.

"Dude, you are in for one hell of a show!"

Jounouchi didn't like this idea at all. It was bad enough being totally ravaged by two sexy bishounen (controversial statement), but to have someone watching them in the process? That was too much. Jounouchi twisted and turned, trying to get the hell out of there, but found himself somehow making it easier for the two seducers to get into straddling-like positions. Yugi ran back with his popcorn and sat on the floor.

"Oh, let me guess!!! It's the choke hold, right?!" Ishtar shook his head.

"Considering the fact that we aren't holding onto his neck, seeing as we are a bit more attached to his... vitals... no, it is not the choke hold."

Of course, seeing as there was no hope of Jounouchi throwing them off, and getting no help from the ever oblivious Yugi, it seemed that all was lost, and he would soon have butthole with the circumference of a mason jar. 

Just then, low and behold, Jounouchi's savior had come. An ever pissed Honda stomped over to the disgusting (rather nice if you're a fangirl observing) display.

"Oh, while I'm not 'around' you two go off and attack my buddy, is that how it is?! Well, I've got a nice little question for you... WHY DIDN'T YOU ATTACK ME?! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY THROW CHOCOLATE SYRUP ON ME AND TRY TO OVERENLARGE MY BUTTHOLE?! WHAT MAKES JOUNOUCHI'S BUTTHOLE MORE STRETCH WORTHY, HUH?!!!"

Yugi giggled. "Honda, you're so silly! They're wrestling, not doing dirty stuff!" Bakura and Ishtar found new interest in the floor. Yugi then knew what was really going on. "Oh... and you were about to do... In front of ME?! You... POOPOOS!" Yugi chucked his popcorn bowl at the threesome on the couch and then rushed off to the other room, knowing that they had almost blinded him for life with their ungodliness (A/N: Blind me, baby, BLIND ME!) 

Seeing as they would make no more progress for a while with Honda on one of his lectures, Ishtar and Bakura got off of Jounouchi and headed back for behind the counter for another 'strategic conference.' 

As all of this stuff was going on, Ryou and Mokuba sat in the closet again, having once again finished their tongue wrestling, had found another way to spend time together. Yep, it was none other than a good old game of Candy Land!

"Yes!" Mokuba squealed in delight, "I got the Queen Frostina card!... or was it Princess... whatever. Anyway, I get to skip across most of the board to get to the ever pretty lady! Whoa yeah!"

"I'm glad you're so happy to be with some lady who isn't real when you have the sweater god sitting right here before you," Ryou said with a disappointed look on his face. 

Mokuba giggled. "Don't be silly honey! None of us are real. We are just simply 2D characters, you know?"

"Oh thank you so much for reminding me."

"Don't mention it."

"Anyway, I'm no good at this game..."

"... You wanna snog?"

"Gee, for an eleven year old, you sure do have a dirty mind."

"Fine, I guess we'll just go back to the board game in which I'm kicking your ass."

"... Snog away!"

Yes, well, so far everything's going well and good, so time to go back to the slow, dramatic stuff again. Malik stood up and crossed the room, looking at the wall. Sure, he didn't want to face the facts, but he didn't want Seto to feel sad anymore either, so he felt that there was only one thing to do... find out who was stealing his Seto-kins heart and shoot the bitch. Of course, there was only one way to do that.

"Seto, I appreciate you not wanting to leave me feeling hurt and all, but I know that you're in love with someone else. I won't bother you anymore, but please, at least tell me who it is."

Kaiba was silent for a moment, knowing that he couldn't conceal the truth for much longer. Sure, it made perfect sense to tell the blonde dude what was up, and how he was thinking of somebody else (gasp), but still... what if it didn't work out and he didn't have a back up to run to, ya know? Also, it'd make things around the apartment really awkward. This made good sense and all, but then again, that little red bitch in his chest was starting to piss him off because he had access to this thing called a conscience which makes your life a living hell. So, now he was pretty much stuck with telling him the plain and honest truth.

"Keith."

"What?"

"I'm in love with... Bandit Keith."

"KEITH?!" Malik was appalled. How could his sweet and wonderful Seto love that damn shit head Bandit Keith?! Sure, maybe he was rather sexy, totally ripped, and, by all means, American (*sigh* gotta love them imported brands), which endowed him with the title of drool worthy, but the guy was so full of himself, his head wouldn't fit through cathedral doors! There's more to the world than looks, ya know!!! Okay, yeah, so he liked Kaiba cuz he's a totally hot dude, and if he were fat, he wouldn't have a chance, but that was different!

"Look, I'm sorry. I know this is all messed up, alright? Anyway, he's coming over tomorrow, so please don't get into a fight with him." Kaiba knew that Keith would beat Malik to a bloody pulp if he did.

"Why is he coming over?"

"He got kicked out of his apartment by his now ex girlfriend, so I invited him to live with us."

"WHAT???!!!!!" Now this was bad! Besides the fact that Kaiba would be on Keith like a cheap suit, there was also the problem in where they were gonna put the guy. He's huge!! The space in the apartment was limited enough as it was, and the last thing they needed was one more person to get in fights with over who got the bed/couch/pillows. As it was, whenever Ryou made an afghan, people would fight over those because they provided some type of cushioning. Oh yes, this was going to make things way worse.

Malik massaged his temples with his fingers. "Okay, Seto, where the hell are we gonna put him?"

"Well, considering Ryou and Mokuba like the closet so much, I was figuring they could live there and Malik could take up the room the both of them normally would."

"But he's not Ryou and Mokuba combined! He's more like a Honda, Jounouchi, Yugi combo!!! He's friggin big!"

"I know." Kaiba smiled pervertedly.

Malik shook his head. Oh well, at least he hadn't gone for Pegasus, or, god forbid, Honda. Now that would've been a slap in the face and a kick in the balls.

And so, now everyone would have to work to appease the new member of the two bedroom apartment household thing, not knowing what this new change in their life style could possibly entitle.

Finally! Believe it or not, I started this chapter two months ago, before I had chapter 7 up, but I haven't gotten around to finishing it until now. Crap, i have so much fanfic stuff that's behind, but I will do my best to update. Bandit Keith comes in next chapter in his asshole-ish glory, for he is sexy. I'll try to get some more randomized stuff in there and all. One thing I realized after finishing this is, shit, Malik sure did get over Kaiba quickly. I don't like people who linger on their emotions, so I try not to make the characters like that. Plus, angst=evil. Oh, and sorry to all the Honda fans out there, but I need to poke fun at somebody, and he's the best candidate. Later! 


	10. Bandit Keith Comes to Town

Whee! Finally at the 10th chapter! I'l try to throw in something better in this fic, because we need some random insanity. Of course, Bandit Keith makes his appearance in this chapter, and I plan on having other people show up as well. Someone asked me "why bandit keith?" when addressing Kaiba's infatuation. Well... why not? I'm not going for practical, ya know. I just wanted someone who could be a major asshole and get away with it. In other stuff, let me see, we've got Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda so far who haven't hooked up with somebody. Malik got dropped, too, huh. Not to mention that Yami didn't have things go the way he wanted... I'm trying to make it so that everybody ends up with somebody (except I'm not sure about Honda... I'm not positive that he needs to reproduce...). Then again, I might just let the story end up in a stale mate ad kill characters off (less to worry about, ya know), so I really haven't made up my mind. In only know what's going to happen up to chapter 11, which will be dedicated to Honda, because he's always looked over. Sorry about rambling. I needed to get my thoughts together so that I know what I'm doing. Anywho, time for the fic.

The day had passed quickly, Ishtar claimed the bed (which he more than willingly shared with Bakura), Yami got the couch, and the stragglers claimed what was left of pillows and whatever else there was. Mokuba and Ryou never did come out of the closet, probably fell asleep in there or something. Kaiba had a hard time sleeping because he knew that the next day, his dream guy would be standing at the door. Sure, Keith had no idea that Kaiba was drooling all over him, but the ex CEO was sure that he would soon get what he ever so desired.

The morning approached soon enough, and everybody seemed to be up and doing their daily stuff. Bakura had devised his newest plan in the 'seduce Jounouchi' project, and was soon going to put it in motion. After having a 'strategic conference' with Ishtar, they set off to get everything ready in this newest, most devious plan. Ishtar (who I'm now going to refer to as Marik, just because the name Ishtar is starting to wear on me) had put gum in the bathroom lock. Now, when Jounouchi went to take his shower, the two sexy bishounen would be able to gain access without the complications of lock picking and such. Once inside the shower with a naked Jounouchi, well, you can imagine the possibilities.

Speaking of which, Jounouchi sat in front of the wall angrily. His favorite made up soap opera character hadn't ended up with the chick he wanted, so he had destroyed his imaginary television. Now he was without a way of entertaining himself, so he just stared at the wall blankly. Out of boredom, he decided to go take a shower. It had been a while since he last had one, so he wasn't smelling all too pleasant. I'm sure you'd be the same way, too, if you didn't have any running hot water! Geez, give him some credit! As he hauled himself off to the bathroom, Bakura and Marik scurried off after him, waiting to surprise the blonde with what they had in store for him.

Yugi was sitting on the floor with his Yami, and was trying to teach his darker half how to make a superb dish towel. Sure, he'd probably never be as good at knitting as Ryou, but he did a damn spiffy job, if he were to say so himself. Yami didn't like the idea of pearling and knitting. Crap, what was the difference?! He would have preferred doing something else like watching television, but because of damn Jounouchi, theirs was broken, and none of them had enough imagination to get a new one. So he sat there doing his best with the row of knots he had made, hoping they would pass for a dish towel.

Meanwhile, Mokuba and Ryou were having a splendid time in their closet. It was Mokuba's great idea to adopt it as their apartment within the apartment, and had already put a mailbox up outside of the door. Ryou had been busy inside, and had hung up many pretty doilies he had made, and had talked Bakura into drawing a mural on one of the walls. He wasn't too happy with the depiction of a stick Jou being sandwiched, so he had covered that up with one of his home made sweaters. Now all they needed was some furnishing (one of those big bean bags, preferably), and it would be fit to live in. 

Kaiba paced in front of the door, waiting for his big American pookie to come skipping through, but he was already a fashionably three hours late. Dammit, how long could it possibly take for him to get there? Finally, there was a loud knock at the door. Kaiba opened it hastily.

"Hey there my- ANZU?!"

Anzu stood at the door smiling. "Hi, Kaiba, I needed to ask you a question."

"Wait one second!" Kaiba made a mad rush to the kitchen and took out a plastic knife. He had been waiting for the chance to take the bitch down, and now was his chance. There was no way he was going to let it go to waste. He rushed back to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, you know that big red button in the lab that says 'Don't Push?' Yeah, well, what happens, say if you pushed it, everything in the building started exploding, and it kind of, er, collapsed?"

".... You destroyed my company...."

"Technically, it's not your company anymore, but.... yeah."

"..........."

"Kaiba?"

"I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!!"

As Kaiba lunged at Anzu, plastic knife in hand, Yami bashed him out of the way.

"Anzu?! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, hi Yami! Just came to ask some stuff."

"Look, you aren't supposed to be here. Ya see, this is a fic about the guys, meaning you aren't supposed to show up."

"Why?"

"Because your face kills people. Please go away."

"Okie dokey!"

Anzu then skipped off to her obliterated company as Yami shut the door. Kaiba stared at him with absolute hatred.

"Why did you stop me?!"

"Stop you?"

"I was about to kill Anzu and have my revenge before you shoved me out of the way!"

"You were?! Oh gee... crap... er, sorry?"

Kaiba just glared at him before plopping on the couch, which angered him even more to see that the TV was gone. So far everything was going completely wrong, and it totally sucked. When he thought all hope was lost, there was another knock at the door. Kaiba picked up his plastic knife once more. Now Anzu was really going to get it. He opened the door and lunged at the victim... only to be smacked ten feet back into the wall behind him.

"What the hell you think you're doin' short stack?" 

Kaiba looked up to see none other than his beloved Bandit Keith smoking a bong as he strode into the dinky apartment. 

"Crap, and I thought I lived in a shit hole. This place sucks ass!" Keith exhaled the smoke. Yugi and Yami had stopped what they were doing to look at the outsider in awe. Mokuba and Ryou came out of their closet, Malik sat in the corner looking pissed, and Honda stood where the imaginary TV used to be, also looking pissed. The only people missing were Jounouchi, Marik, and Bakura, but we all know what they're doing. Anywho, Keith surveyed his new roommates.

"Ah shit. I just walked into a gay house, didn't I?" Nobody said anything, but just stared at the bandit it wonder, unless they were Malik or Honda. They just stared at him angrily. Keith plopped onto the couch and looked at the wall blankly. 

"Dude, what the hell do you do for entertainment around this place anyway?"

Yugi smiled at him. "Well, Yami and I are knitting dish towels!"

"... I shouldn't have asked..."

Kaiba took it upon himself to make his move. Here Keith was, in his apartment, sitting on his couch, looking at his wall; I mean, this was the perfect opportunity to win over Keith's heart. Kaiba swallowed down his fear and walked over to where he sat.

"Hey, Keith, I really hope you like it here and I just want you to know that I-"

"Move it, ass whipe! You're blocking my view of the wall!"

"Oh... okay..." Kaiba stepped to the side, as not to block the non existent scenery.

A few minutes later, Bakura and Marik walked into the room gloomily and plopped on the couch next to Keith. Once again, their 'seduce Jounouchi' project had failed. Everything had started out well enough, being able to walk into the bathroom with ease and climbing into the shower. It was after that everything went wrong. It was when entering the shower that they had realized that Jounouchi apparently bathed with his clothes on as to do his laundry and clean himself at the same time. This, of course, wasn't their biggest concern, since the disappearance of clothes is quite easy to come by. What terribly screwed it all up, though, was that they had forgotten that they didn't have hot water, and the ice splinters coming from the shower head pretty much destroyed the mood. Because of this, they had made a swift retreat, resulting in once again having Jounouchi's ass be saved from penetration.

Keith looked over at the two, wondering what the hell was wrong with them, but thought better of it not to ask. Kaiba stood at the side stupidly, not sure what to do, which made Malik very happy. He deserved it, giving him up for that son of a bitch, sexy American bandit. Now he could suffer the way he had been doing for the last nineteen hours!

Finally, Keith couldn't stand looking at a wall anymore. He needed his cigarettes, his booze, his whores, his ect! He would have been happy at least to have a Play station or a Gamecude... as long as he wasn't stuck with Tetris. That would suck.

"Dammit! Can't you guys buy a TV or something?!"

Mokuba stepped forward happily. "We're too ghetto to buy a TV, but being a little kid, I could easily imagine one up for you!"

Keith just stared at him. What kind of dumb ass kid was this?! An obvious result of inbreeding, he was sure. Mokuba, being a dense little boy, didn't know how stupid he was, and went on imagining a TV for them, and WHALLAH, there was an imaginary TV. The native apartment dwellers oohed and aahed at the sight. They had something to do other than grandma work once again! They all crowded around the TV set, fighting over which channel they should watch.

Keith watched them all with disbelief.

"You guys are fighting over a piece of wall..."

"No we're not!" Yami shouted as he pushed Ryou into Marik in order to reach the TV buttons.

"Okay, fine, a lump of air. You guys are getting into a hissy fit over nothing!"

"Nuh uh! It's a TV set!" Ryou said while rubbing a bruised chin.

"......" 

Keith didn't think he would be able to take much more of this. He was stuck here in this half assed apartment with all of these psychos for roommates. He left for the bedroom to lay down in peace, but found Jounouchi already sleeping on the bed. Keith picked Jounouchi up and flung him over his shoulder, followed by laying down on the rock hard mattress. He the proceeded to putting on his earmuffs so as to silence Jounouchi's cries of pain from his ears. 

Honda had watched Keith leave the room, and soon followed him to the bedroom. There was no way he was going to let him be some drooled over piece of meat when he had been there so much longer. It was time to give the bandit a piece of his mind.

Chapter 10 is now finished, and we have had a new character come to the apartment. The next chapter gets to be all about Honda because he didn't get one line during the whole chapter... now that I think about it, Malik didn't say anything either. No matter, he got to be a main character for all of the previous ones, so no complaining. There will be more Jounouchi seducing scheming going on, and I think that there will be a few more people coming to live with the present cast before the fic is over, though I'm not sure when the next new character will be popping up. No worries, though, for no Mary Sues will ever be permitted, for they are evil and spawned by the devil himself. If you are a fighter against Mary Sues, say YAHOODIS!!! 


	11. Dedication to Honda Chapter

Finally made it!!! I am happy to announce that this is the spiffy superlicious HONDA CHAPTER!!!! Yes, I have been wanting to do this chapter for a whole... er... well, it started about two chapters ago, I thought it would be cool. I hope you like ranting raving idiotic speeches, cuz you'll be going through a lot of them. Not to mention we always have the 'seduce Jounouchi' side quests... I might do a chapter only on that later... and I might throw in a few other messed up ones if I can think of anything worthy enough to be done through countless chapters. I still don't know how long this whole fic will be when it's complete, but it'll probably be pretty long since I suck when it comes to ending stuff. I always have new thoughts coming to mind, so I'll just wait till nobody is bothering to review, and then I'll quit. Till then, read on!

Bandit Keith closed his eyes and sighed in relief, happy he was away from all of those crazy people in the other room. How the hell was he supposed to survive with these guys? It didn't matter, he'd just have to pick them off one at a time, and then the dinky apartment would be all his!... Then again, he might just put Yugi up for ransom and hope he could get a bunch of money from his grandpa. He was the one paying the rent on the place, though Keith wasn't sure how considering he was pretty damn poor. 

He began to drift asleep, plotting on how to get a big ass house filled with STD free whores when he felt something breathing on his face. Keith opened one eye to see none other than a sadistic, pissed off Honda.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, NOW you want to know what I want. You never cared before. Is it because I have a spork POINTED AT YOUR HEART?!! Oh yes! I HOLD YOUR LIFE IN MY UTENSILS!!! DO WHAT I SAY OR DIE IN CUTTLERY!!"

"Holy shit dude! What's your problem?!"

"Problem? PROBLEM?! SUDDENLY BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE YOUR LIFE AND RIP OPEN YOUR FACE I HAVE A PROBLEM!!!! WELL I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHIN' BUCKO!!! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!"

"Wha?"

"Didn't you know? Of course not, they didn't tell you, but I'm sure you can guess. I'm the one who no one pays attention to, no one cares about, no one even thinks of, and when they do, it's 'good god, look at that ugly Honda.' Well, ya know what? THIS IS WHAT I SAY ABOUT YOUR UGLY HONDA ISSUES!!!"

Honda stabbed Bandit Keith in the shin with his plastic spork menacingly, smiling in a malign manner as he saw Keith's face contort in pain.

"You're face isn't so pretty now, IS IT?! NO! IT'S HORRID AND UGLY AS YOU SWEAT AND PERSPIRE, DESTROYING YOUR PERFECT FIGURE AND MAKING YOU HIDEOUS OUT OF TORTURE!!!! YES! THAT IS JUSTICE!! THAT IS DIVINE RETRIBUTION! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THIS?! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE PERFECT SYSTEM?!!!"

"I'd say you're a messed up dick wad!" Bandit Keith smacked Honda across the room, and ran back into the room with the others. Sure, they might be psycho, thinking a patch of air is a TV, but they were friggin sane compared to that loony. 

The others, who had all finally agreed on a TV station, looked over at Keith from where they sat.

"What's wrong with you?" Bakura asked, doing his best to divide his time between the television and Keith. 

"Dude, that guy's crazy!"

A voice sounded from the other room. "Crazy. I'm not crazy. You're the crazy one, you and your pretty face, which doesn't remain sinisterly malign and haunts my slumber. How I long for the wringing of my hands from your hideous beauty."

Everybody turned their attention from the TV to stare at Honda. Yugi laughed a bit hesitantly.

"Er, Honda, what are you talking about."

Honda chuckled evilly. "You don't understand, you never understand. I am to fulfill my utmost wish and shake the peas from the fig tree that nibbles at my veins. Let the buffalo be freed from the bird cage and eat away the marrow of goat cheese!" 

While Honda went on about things that didn't make any sense, Bakura shuffled off to the bedroom, Marik at his heels. Was it fate, luck, or the will of the great macronism, it was a good thing for a now giddy Bakura, for Jounouchi was sitting on the floor sobbing about something or other, totally defenseless. Now was the perfect time to strike. Bakura pulled Jounouchi up by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall.

"Hello there my dear. I was hoping I would run into you. Now then, how'd you like to go sit on daddy's lap?"

"GGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Once again, Jounouchi was hyperventilating. He didn't want this. He just wanted to watch TV, find hot chicks, get a nice WARM shower, and do things like normal people. Instead he was here, squished between a wall and a hot place, and another seductor making his way over. This was obviously bad.

Bakura ran his hand through Jounouchi's sweat drenched hair. Seeing him shiver was oh so sweet. Marik came in on the side, nipping at Jou's earlobe, which made him shriek helplessly. Oh yes, this time Bakura was sure to have his way.

As if by psychic intelligence, or 'people getting some and I'm not' radar, Honda's head snapped in the direction of the bedroom. An angry look took over his maniacal one as he stormed into the other room.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THIS WITHOUT MY CONSENT!!!"

Bakura looked over at him drolly. "Don't tell me, you're here to ruin my fun once again."

Honda glared back at him defiantly. "I will do as I please. AND I PLEASE TO TAKE JOUNOUCHI FROM YOU AND PEEL HIS FACE OFF!!! Now if you'd be so kind as to hand him over, I'd be more than obliged."

Jounouchi looked between his seducers and his maniacal friend. If Honda saved him, it would indeed save him once again from taking it up the shoot, but, then again, the thought of his face being torn away from his head didn't sound too comfy either. Yep, it seemed this time he was pretty much screwed.

"I will not let you take MY Jounouchi from me!... until after I get what I want, anyway," Bakura snapped, making Marik somewhat jealous, but backed him up anyway.

"If you're gonna take him, you'll have to go through us first!!"

A large, malign smile spread across Honda's face as he flung his spork about in an offensive manner. "Oh, I WILL go through you, and my plastic wear will spoon away your guts!"

"Yeah?! Then try to beat me with THIS!!!" Bakura took out a random, mysterious looking funnel. Honda shrieked when he saw the strange item.

"NO! MY WEAKNESS!!!! NOT THE FUNNEL OF MYSTERY!!!"

"OH YES IT IS!! AND NOW YOU WILL PAY!!!"

Jounouchi and Marik just watched Bakura and Honda go at it with their spork and funnel, not having a clue as to what was going on. Jounouchi shrugged, realized that Marik wasn't paying attention, and left to the TV room, and joined in the sobbing of their favorite soap opera couple getting married. It truly was a happy occasion. 

Meanwhile, Honda and Bakura began to square off, when suddenly Honda's radar shut off.

"Huh? What the hell am I doing?" He looked to the spork in his hand, "Why am I holding a utensil in a devastating manner?"

"What? You don't remember?"

Honda shook his head. Not really caring what was going on either, Honda also went to the other room to watch their magic invisible TV. Bakura stood in puzzlement, not able to figure what was going on, but then realized something more important. He had failed once again in his project of lust and sin. He began to curse at Honda, Jounouchi, and the ice cream man in many tongues before summoning Marik to go with him back to behind the bar for another 'planning session,' to which Marik was more than obliged.

Yep, this chapter be done (and it was probably one of the shortest chapters, too, more or less because I couldn't think of many more random things for Honda to say, while keeping it humourous at the same time). Next chapter, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, so it'll probably be another one that focuses on everybody. This one was simply made to let Honda have the spotlight for a little while because he's been neglected for practically this whole thing. Now the Honda people won't need to be sad anymore. Till next time!


	12. The Way Things Are

Yes, I finally decided to do it. After a long break on fic writing, due to the lack of ideas, I have finally come up with the next chapter to this ungodly fic. I will try to make sure this one will go and have a bit more to do with the characters and their feelings (aka: this chapter will be shitty) because so far I have pretty much described them as these emotionless horn dogs, while only Bakura is truly supposed to fit in that category, well, maybe Keith, too, but he's not really a horn dog, but more or less a total conniving bastard. I will also keep this humourous, though, because when a fic is just pure drama/romance, it has a tendency to suck balls. Anywho, I hope you like chapter twelve, and that I write thirteen sooner.

Behind the kitchen counter, Bakura and Marik were once again plotting the newest way to corrupt dear ol' Jounouchi. After a good five minutes of mouth exploring, Bakura came up with his greatest idea yet.

"I've got it! We will fill the tub full of peanut butter and chocolate morsels, to which Jounouchi won't possibly be able to resist, and will probably get in immediately. Little will he know that underneath the fattening goodness, we will be hiding, ad once he's in the tub, we make our move!"

Marik scratched his head. "Yeah, but how are we supposed to breath until he comes?"

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm a spirit. I don't need to breath."

"But I'm not! Besides, think of how goopy and nasty our hair's gonna get!"

Bakura rested his back against one of the lower cupboards. "Hmm... you got a point there... OH!"

Bakura, realizing the best and sexiest method to go by, began to divulge the plan to his hot ass partner.

Now then, in a closet not too far away, Mokuba and Ryou were busy with things themselves.

"Oh... c'mon, C'MON!!! PLEASE!!! OOOH!" Mokuba cried loudly as he attempted to knit a dish towel. Ryou had been teaching him this delicate art, but he always had a tendency of dropping loops.

"No no no, silly! You're supposed to knit that stitch, not pearl it!" Ryou corrected lovingly. Mokuba looked at him with a terribly, almost sickeningly cute pout on his face.

"This is really hard! I don't think I'll ever be able to knit like you..." Mokuba buried his head in his hands, "I'm just so useless, and I want to die!"

Ryou held Mokuba close. "There there, it's okay. It's not everyone's calling to be a weaver of the thread. You're not useless. After all, you are the shoots and ladders champion."

Mokuba smiled at Ryou through his tears. "Thank you Ryou.... you don't know how much that means to me." Ryou smiled back at him and kissed away his tears, making many gushy fan girls 'Awww' at their screens. 

While all was good and well in the closet of dreams, deep and cloudy skies were brewing inside one blonde haired Egyptian's heart (oh yes, gotta love them clichés!). Even though he knew it would be wrong to keep Seto to himself against his will, Malik still couldn't help as if he had been torn apart with the dull end of a rusty butter knife. He had never cared for anyone before so much, unless you count the other billion fanfics with Malik/'insert character,' but that's besides the point! What does matter is that this is a different story, and only Malik/Seto matters in this scene! 

Anyway, Malik looked over longingly at his ever ignorant love, who, at the moment, was being used as Bandit Keith's personal foot rest. How he envied that damned American, and how he was able to command Seto's vibration setting. If enjoyed these lounging whiles oh so much, then why didn't he just buy himself a friggin lazy boy ä ??!! 

He sighed. No, even if Keith owned the comfiest chair in the world (damn, this is starting to sound like a commercial ad), he would still have hold of Seto's heart. The only way he could ever get his cuddle munchkin back would by winning his heart, but how was he supposed to do that? After all, this was the sexy American bizznatch Keith he was competing with here. Sure, Malik was hot and all, but how was he supposed to beat a guy with large, chiseled muscles, awesome clothes, huge hands and feet (which accounted for a huge something else), the way he wears sunglasses and his bandana, and the total kick ass attitude he has would make anybody swoon... unless you're already obsessed with a brown haired, blue eyed, ex-CEO, who has decided recently to not acknowledge your very existence. This was going to be very difficult, indeed, but there was no way he was going to give up, for I need something to do with him.

Speaking of Keith and Kaiba, things weren't really going too peachy in this whole scene at all.

*flashback*

Seto saw Keith sitting there on the couch, looking very temptingly sexy, as he always does. This was his chance to hopefully make an impression on the man of his dreams. Kaiba strode over to Keith, hoping to look confidence, remembering the fact that chicks dig confidence, forgetting the major factor that Bandit Keith, by no means, was a chick. 

"Hey there," he said in his most suave voice, that would make most women and one tanned blonde boy turn many shades of red. Dear old Keith Howard, on the other hand, was not impressed.

"Whatcha want half pint?" Keith looked at Kaiba sternly, who's confidence was leaking out of him like helium in a punctured balloon. 

"Er, um, I, er, uh" 

"If ya ain't gonna say anything worth hearin,' then go do somethin' useful like get me a beer, or somethin.'"

Kaiba was off to the kitchen to the kitchen like a fat kid to a free buffet. Very soon he returned with a nice cold beer in one hand, and a tall glass in the other. Keith looked at him, giving him one of those, 'what the hell you think you're doing' looks. He then grabbed the beer from Kaiba and went at the ever wonderful beverage. 

"Um, I have a glass for you, I mean, if you need it or anything and, um-"

"Dude, do you ever shut up?"

Kaiba stood silent. All ready he had managed to anger his blue eyed goddess... er, god... (I got no doubt that Seto'd be the woman in that relationship). All he wanted was to please him and win his affections, but so far, it seemed to be no good. 

Keith sighed. "Look, you could still do somethin' better than just stand there. Ya see, I ain't got no foot rest for this here damned couch, if ya get my drift."

Kaiba didn't have to be hinted at twice. He immediately dropped to his hands and knees, and tried not to plop to the floor under the impact of Keith's large commando boots landing in the middle of his back.

"Mmm, that's more like it!" Keith moved around a bit in his seat, trying to situate into a more comfortable position. After getting all nice and comfy, there was a silence that lasted for a while, minus a screaming Jounouchi from the direction of the bathroom. Finally, Keith broke the barrier.

"Well? Vibrate dammit!"

*end flash back*

So that's how that whole situation came about. In front of the TV was Yami and Yugi, both of which had different things going through their minds, and weren't watching their imagined sit com. 

With Yami, he was right now having an inner struggle between two people whom he found himself attracted to. There was Marik, whom he had originally fallen for, but that was still when he was called Ishtar, and now things just didn't seem to be the same. Then there was the newest love of his life, Bakura, for his angriness and totally maniacal personality that was drop dead sexy. The only problem was that with both of them, one was chasing after Bakura while the other was chasing after Jounouchi (actually, when he came to think of it, both of them were kinda stalking Jou-kins, weren't they?) so it would be hard to get any of them to look his way. He decided, though, to go for Bakura, because even though their feelings might not be mutual, there still was a way better chance that he might get some. For any man stuck in a teenager's body, who was probably going through more hormonal changes than a teenybopper changing their jeans, this was reason enough.

Yugi, on the other hand, had other things in mind. He felt that he was in a whole entire loveless hole. Everybody was chasing after everybody else, the only couple established was Ryou and Mokuba, some guys like Jounouchi and Bakura had two people after them, while people like Honda and himself had nobody. Other people like Kaiba were being willingly abused by their, loves, while other people, like Malik, would actually love them and treat them with dignity. Things here were getting more screwed up by the day. Yugi just hoped that the newest applicant to come live in the apartment might improve situations, though seeing how things were turning out, he now highly doubted it (*hint hint: new character, next chapter). Also, his spiffy bargain shoes were starting to fall apart at the soles. It seemed this was a job for Mr. Tape!

Honda was in the other room, feeling down and depressed as usual. No one loved him because he looked icky, and his hair was gross looking. It wasn't his fault he was drawn that way! He just wanted somebody, ANYBODY, to care for him, too... unless they were old, fat, had acne, were just 'okay,' or... alright, let's face it, he wanted a total babe/hunk (chances are hunk, since everybody seems to be queer). Maybe, just maybe there was a beauty out there who would fall for the beast, because if it could happen in a Disney movie, it proved that your dreams can come true. He decided to ignore the fact that at the end the beast turns into a sexy bizznatch (which I think had a terribly big nose), and in the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the pretty chick went for the hot guy anyway. That was okay, though, because they made a sequel so that the cripple could get a chick too! Keeping that in mind, Honda's spirits were raised, and he went back to playing with his Ariel and Eric paper dolls.

Now then, to be keeping track of things, let's see how the whole Jounouchi seduction project of the day came out. Bakra had indeed fixed the whole breathing under peanutbutter/getting the hair messy problem. He and Marik had put on shower caps and snorkels, followed by hiding under the brownish tan orange (what color is peanut butter anyway?) substance, with the many delectable chocolate morsels floating about. As they had expected, Jounouchi's title of doggie was quite accurate, and he had followed his nose to the bath full of goodies. It took him no time at all to drop his clothes and dive into this heavenly treat, only to find that he had two other people there with him who wanted to share in the bounty.

Marik and Bakura popped out of the peanut butter, ripping off their shower caps and snorkels, followed by tackling Jou. It seemed that the pooch was pinned, screaming as he was showered with many licks and kisses. It was very soon after this had begun that Bakura was growing weary of the upper half of his captive's body, and his hand began to proceed downward. Unfortunately, before Bakura's hand had reached it's final destination, Mokuba and Ryou had walked on in to the bathroom, and had been planning to try out their new yarn ship that Ryou had artfully crafted in the bath tub. The three were shooed out of the bathroom, followed by a long lecture on indecent exposure, and if you're gonna do it, for heaven's sake, include everybody!

Jounouchi took this time to gat back into his clothes (how he got all the peanut butter off, I don't know, nor really care) and scurried onto the couch next to Bandit Keith, where he was soon forced into employment under this new couch tyrant as a beer holder. And so the day went by, and night was coming upon them all, for little did they know, other than Yugi, that a new arrival would soon be dwelling amongst them... oh, and that has to do with night cuz the dude is coming at night time... just so we have that cleared up! ^_^

Now then, for the people who are totally confused on how this is all set up so far, this is how the whole 'love cycle' is at the current moment.

Couples: Ryou/Mokuba.... that's it

Name/Person they like

Yugi/nobody

Yami/Bakura & Marik

Bakura/Jounouchi

Marik/Bakura

Jounouchi/Nobody

Honda/Nobody

Keith/Nobody

Seto/Keith

Malik/Seto

Knowing how I am, probably this whole set up will have changed a bunch of times before this whole fic is over. Oh, also I have made things more complicated for me because I have not decided to add just one, but TWO new characters in the next chapter (applicant & person applicant drags along). I'm not spoiling, though! By the way, no worries about one of them being an original character, because I have told y'all before, I hate Mary Sues, and to do that to you all would be cruel and unusual punishment. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up sooner, and I'll do my best to update all my other stuff, too. Later!


	13. Plushies of Funkyness

Sorry!! I'm SO SORRY!! I know I said I'd get the chapter up faster, but stuff happened, and I didn't have time to write. Anyway, I'm getting this chapter done, and it will be super spiffy (hopefully), and all that good stuff. Right now, though, it seems that I'm failing out of my school, and might possibly be going to a public one next semester, if I pull my grades up, that is. Yeah, that really sucks for me, but what can I say? I'm not the best student in the world (that must be obvious because of the random shit I write). I will do my best to get this one done well, and make it really awesomish.

Night had come, and Yugi awaited impatiently for the new arrival to, well, arrive. This was all that was needed to change things around this place. Hopefully, this occupant would set a good example for all of the others who insisted on living in sin. Then again, he might just make everything worse, and lead them all into a spiral of ungodly living. Still, it was better than sitting there doing nothing, right?

Bakura rested his head on the pillow he had stolen from Mokuba while Ryou was on the john. After all this time, and many different tactics, still Jounouchi had some out totally pure and unentered. Maybe there was something he was missing, something that would lead him to what it was he desired... of course! Bakura's face spread into a maniacal grin. All he had to do was act like he trly totally cared for Jou, and the little puppy would be loyal. Little would he know that his master was like those sickos you meet at the gas stations, who do terribly disturbing things to their pets. There was no time to waste! Bakura was off to the corner of the room to where Jounouchi sat playing his air game boy, ready to play his role as the loving, concerned guy.

Seto was getting really tired under the weight of Keith's heavy boots, but didn't dare move from his position. His lovey angel was now asleep, and he wouldn't want to disturb him. Kaiba looked over at the bandit lovingly as he blew a snot bubble from his nose. How could anyone hate such a precious little doll?

Jounouchi laid on the side of the couch Keith wasn't taking up, huddled and looking very afraid. He didn't know when Bakura and Marik might decide to come at him with their dirty, perverted intentions. As of tonight, he wouldn't have slept for two full nights without the worry of these disturbed apartment dwellers. He would stay there, always coming close to falling asleep, only to suddenly open his eyes once more to keep a watch on all of his surroundings, for you never know when one of them would be lurking about. 

It was at a moment like this that Bakura walked to where Jounouchi lay. Jou, of course, knowing Bakura's typical patterns, began to spasm, wondering if it would be a good idea to kick Keith and wake him as to put in an obstacle for our favorite albino. Sure, it might guarantee him to the biggest ass whoopin' he'd ever received in his life, but it seemed a tad bit better than the alternative. He then decided not to, though, because he then remembered that Keith had had a few too many beers earlier, and would be experiencing one hell of a hangover when he woke up, so to do so could possibly bring about a sudden bout of, I dunno, death perhaps?

Bakura sat next to Jounouchi, who was now in an upright position, trying to figure out how the hell he'd get out of this situation. Before he could come up with any fabulously ridiculous plans, Bakura spoke.

"Look, I want to say that I'm sorry for coming at you the way I have been the last few days. it was very inconsiderate of me."

"WUZZAH???!!"

Jounouchi couldn't believe his ears. Had he actually fallen asleep and this was all occurring in some morbid dream? Had Bakura gotten utterly stoned? What was the hell was happening. 

Bakura grinned as he noticed the expression on the poor puppy's face.

"Why so shocked? Isn't it normal for one to apologize if one is at fault?"

"Well, yeah. If they're normally sane, that is... are you on crack?"

"No, I just feel utterly appalled by my earlier discretions, and wish to reconcile with you."

Jounouchi's eyes grew wide. "Whoa! Hold up there pony! The Bakura I know never feels bad about what he does because he's an utter psycho. For another thing, he never EVER uses big words like riconnsilly, or whatever you said. What's going on?!"

"NOTHING IS GOING ON!! I AM TRYING TO SEEK FORGIVENESS, DAMN YOU!!" This was all starting to get on Bakura's nerves. The last thing he needed was Jounouchi somehow figuring out the truth, though it was kind of freaky he knew so much about his normal thought patterns, considering he was usually taking the time to avoid him. 

Bakura wasn't able to go on, trying to sweet talk Jou, because when he had screamed at him, he woke up all the inhabitants of the apartment.

"For the love of shit and all that's sacred, get your ass over here so I can rip your fuckin face off!!" Keith snarled as he jumped into an attack position on the couch, switch blade in hand.

Honda walked into the room, surveying all that was going on. "I am feeling the vibrations of... someone being doted on... Rage building. Building. BUILDING!" It was as if all the fires of hell burned around him as he glared at Bakura and Jounouchi with a demonic flare. It looked like things might have been pretty shitty for the apartment livers, if it weren't for the doorbell suddenly ringing.

Yugi lunged at the door in utter exuberance. "I'll get it!" He said cheerfully, in a sing song voice. He opened it quickly to see none other than the newest occupant of their humble abode. "Ah, Otogi! Glad you could come! Oh, and who is that there behind you?"

Otogi walked inside the house and glanced around, and then nodded in approval. "Yes, I do think this will do." He took notice of Yugi once more. "Oh, sorry. I figured that since you were so eager for a new roommate, I brought a friend of mine along to live with us. I hope you don't mind."

Yugi smiled, "Not at all. The more the merrier, as I always say!"

The tag along then stepped into the apartment, seeming as if it were all made with splendor. "It's simply marvelous! I can certainly see why Otogi wanted to some here, don't you agree, Yugi-boy?"

Jounouchi's head snapped over to where the voice came from. "Pegasus?! Why are you here?"

"Yeah, didn't you die?" Yami asked sleepily as he walked out from the other room.

Pegasus looked over at him sympathetically. "Well, technically yes, but I went and came back. It's all a terribly fascinating story, if I do say so myself."

Otogi gazed at Pegasus dreamily. "Oh please, tell me again! I can never get tired of YOUR stories!"

Pegasus, totally oblivious to the pair of green goo goo eyes, began to tell his story. "Now, you see, after I got killed and all, " He took this time to glare at Bakura with absolute loathing. Bakura glared back as he took a dusty green crayon from his pocket and headed towards his splendid mural, "I was cast down to hell. You know, the whole 'witchcraft is evil' theory. Anyway, I was going up for my judgment when I bumped into Satan. Apparently he was sneaking out of his murky castle to go do explicit things with J-Lo, but that's a whole different story entirely. It was around then that we started up quite the fascinating conversation, and I guess he was in good spirits and made a deal with me. 'Pegasus,' he said, 'I'll let you go back to earth if you promise to bring one hundred souls down here to hell to fuel my furnace,' and I said, 'Oh, what the bejebese? I can do that with a snap crackle and pop,' and so I am now here to convert you all to Satanism and damn your souls. Isn't that great?!"

"Hah! You're too late!" Keith laughed indignantly, "I already sold my soul to Marlyn Manson to get a free t-shirt!"

"Really? Then I have no doubt you'll be joining the rest in the eternal barbeque in no time!" Pegasus smiled happily and then pranced over to the middle of the floor, plopped down, and began to chant his evil refrain. "Call upon the sea ponies when you're in distress, helpful as can be ponies, signal SOS. Shoobi doo, Shoo Shoooo bi doo!"

"Wow, isn't he amazing?" Otogi watched Pegasus affectionately. "I'll sell my soul to him any day."

Yugi shrugged. "I dunno about that, but I guess he DOES have pretty hair."

"You're trying to get him for yourself, AREN'T YOU?!" Otogi towered over Yugi angrily, "I had my eye on him first, so get the hell away from MY to-be guy, ya damn munchkin!!"

Keith pointed and laughed. "Heh, munchkin!!"

"Honey, I really don't think shooting up like that is good for you," Seto said as he tried to pry the syringe out of Keith's hand.

"DON'T CALL ME HONEY!! MY NAME IS NIGHT WING!!"

"Okay Night Wing-"

"Shaddup, ya floozy!"

Shut down, once again. Then again, what can you expect from a guy who's drugged up and probably has more STD's than a hippie in a whore house? You should be sympathizing with him.

Pegasus had then taken out two plushy dolls. Yami looked at them curiously. "It could just be me, but those look a lot like Jounouchi and Bakura." 

Pegasus looked about giddily. "Now I will demonstrate to you all the power of voodoo!" He began to whirl and twirl the dolls about happily, as all the others watched Bakura and Jounouchi fly all over the room against their will.

"NO! STOP!!" Jounouchi screamed as he felt himself coming closer to blowing chunks by the moment.

"DAMN YOU, YOU MADE ME SMUDGE MY MURAL!" Bakura shrieked loudly, "WHEN YOU STOP ABUSING ME, IMA KILL YOU!!!"

Pegasus came up with a new idea. He began to bang the plushies into each other. "KISS!" Even though that may have been what he wanted, it didn't really happen. It was more or less Bakura and Jou being bashed into each other constantly in mid air. All of the others in the apartment had sat about on the floor/ couch, eating popcorn and other refreshment while observing the site. It wasn't everyday you got to see too of you roommates flying about in the air crashing into each other repeatedly in what seemed to be a poor attempt of a kiss scene.

Finally, after Pegasus got bored, the two specimens plopped onto the ground and rushed to the bathroom to barf up their guts. After the sound of puking had ceased, everyone setteled down in the apartment for the night to get a nice long rest.

THE PLUSHIES WERE DONATED FROM **I R PinkCake**. Thank you for giving me them, for they will now be used for quite splendorful things.

Once again, I took forever to finish this, and I'm sorry I keep taking so long, but I've got tons of school work stuff this year, so it's hard to keep up all the time. I'll get the next one up as soon as I have the chance, m'kay? Thanks bunches to all of you who have kept up with this fic so far, because I terribly appreciate it, and, for those whom it may concern, yes, Malik is still probably one of them MAIN main characters in this fic. It just so happens I've gotten a bit... sidetracked... from the original plot line. Who Malik will end up with in the end, I still haven't figured out yet. I might have him paired up w/ Seto again, but I might get bored and put him with te ever queer Pegasus. It all depends on how I feel about it later. Don't worry, the next chapter will be quite superlicious, so I'll write it soonish!


End file.
